


Without You

by Trickster_Angel



Series: Louder than Sirens, Louder than Bells [5]
Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon-Typical Violence, Crying, F/F, First Kiss, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, It's Madoka you know how it's gonna be, One-Sided Relationship, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-18 10:09:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16993023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickster_Angel/pseuds/Trickster_Angel
Summary: Homura's life was boring until she met Madoka. She loved her, found out they were soulmates, and lost her. So Homura sells her soul and goes back in time to save the girl who means everything to her. No matter how many times it takes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is part of the Louder Than Sirens, Louder Than Bells Series. It stands alone but if you like the trope, please read some of my other stories.

_ Say something new, _

_ I have nothing left. _

_ I can't face the dark without you. _

_ Without You, Breaking Benjamin _

 

* * *

This wasn't a feeling Homura was familiar with.

She supposed her parents loved her. They put her in a good school, paid for her treatment. They visited her in the hospital, at first. But the longer she was there, the less they came, until it had been months since she'd seem them. 

She didn't really have friends at her old school or the hospital. There wasn't anyone to miss her when she left. But Homura never really considered this a problem. She was shy and quiet. It was easier when people ignored her. Homura has grown accustomed to being a background character in her own life.

So she didn't expect anything different when she started school again. She was made to wait in the hallway for her introduction, while the teacher talked to the class. Homura could hear what she was saying; she was complaining about her boyfriend. She didn't mind too much. After all, she was used to being forgotten. 

Eventually, the teacher called her in. Homura didn't look at her classmates as she entered. She was far too nervous. She hated the spotlight being on her.

The teacher introduced her and attempted to write her name on the blackboard but she seemed to be having a hard time of it. It was embarrassing. She knew she had a weird name and this only made it worse in front of her new classmates.

Homura was directed to a seat and wanted to melt into the floor. Some people were still staring at her. 

And worse, she was being judged from all angles. She couldn’t do the work because she’d fallen behind. She couldn’t participate in gym because she was still so weak. It was embarrassing and she hated it. She just wanted to cry but couldn’t in front of her classmates. It was a horrible day.

The only good to that day was because she met Madoka. She was the nurse's aid for the class and showed Homura there to take her medication. She was friendly and cheerful and Homura had never received positive attention like this before. She complimented her name and even called her “Homura-chan.” Madoka was like the sunshine after a cloudy day. And Homura didn’t know how to interact with such a sunny person. She was so used to the rain and clouds that Madoka was almost intimidating.

To top it all off, Homura learned a big secret. She was walking home from school.  It was a quiet road, barely any cars or people. Homura has really only observed it from her hospital room window. It felt strange to be part of the world again. 

She felt ashamed after her day at school. She didn’t think anything of the voices in her head talking about her death. She was so used to the fact that she could die at any moment, that thinking about it wasn’t abnormal. It wasn’t until she opened her eyes did she realize something was wrong.

The road was a black and white swirl. The sky had turned red. 

Homura could feel her heart beating faster. She turned around but she didn’t see the real road anymore. A red and black scene was behind her. 

“What is this place?” An arch built itself behind her. 

Maybe her heart had stopped and she was hallucinating. This couldn't be real. Maybe she actually was dead. Monsters shambled towards her like zombies.

Homura could not remember being more terrified. She took another step backwards and tripped. 

“Ah! No!” Homura screamed. She shut her eyes in fear, expecting to be eaten.

There was a gunshot and the monster shrieked.

Homura opened her eyes.

Two girls stood on front of her, one dressed in yellow and the other in pink. The girl in pink had very familiar hair ribbons.

“That was a close one,” the girl in yellow said.

Madoka turned around and smiled at her. “You’re safe now, Homura-chan.”

“You’re-” Homura couldn’t get the words out. She could only sit back and watch. She was in awe of what was happening in front of her. And yet, she could barely comprehend it. The girl dressed in yellow could shoot ribbons at the monster and Madoka shot pink bolts with a longbow.  Together, they made short work of the monster. 

The scene around them faded back into the bridge. The two girls lost their fancy clothes and their school uniforms reappeared. The blond girl went to their school.

“Do you know her?” The blond asked.

Madoka walked to Homura’s side and helped her to her feet. She picked up Homura's bag and handed it to her. 

“Mami-chan, this is Homura-chan. We're in the same class,” Madoka explained.

“I'm Akemi Homura,” Homura said with a bow, “Thank you for saving my life.”

“Perhaps we could go to my home, and we'll explain what you just saw,” Mami said coolly. But she was smiling.

“That's a great idea. Come on, Homura-chan,” Madoka said, grasping Homura's hand and pulling her along. Homura needed no encouragement.

* * *

Madoka really was amazing. She fought witches, even when she was scared, solely to save other people. Homura couldn’t help but be impressed. She liked Madoka even more now.

* * *

Homura watched Madoka sneak away from her friends. Sayaka and Hitomi didn't seem to notice anything off but Homura knew better. Madoka was going to fight witches.

She ran off and Homura followed behind her. Madoka met up with Mami and they walked away together. 

Homura emerged and said, “Kaname-san.”

Mami and Madoka turned around to look at her.

“If it isn't too much trouble, could I go with you?” Homura asked quietly. She had barely paid attention the last time she saw them fighting. She wanted to see it up close. And she wanted to spend that time with Madoka.

“What do you think, Mami-chan?” Madoka asked.

Homura’s heart started to beat faster. She had no idea if Mami would let her come. And Madoka would likely defer to her judgement.

“Do you want to be a magical girl, Akemi-san?” Mami asked.

Homura looked at the ground in front of her. She had no idea if she did. It seemed so scary but Mami and Madoka made it look easy. Maybe because they did it together. Or maybe that was how strong they both were.

“I don't know,” Homura admitted, “I want to be stronger.”

“This is one way to do it,” Mami replied with a kind smile, “If you want to watch how it's done before you become one, you can come with us.”

“Thank you,” Homura said with a bow, “I won't be an inconvenience.” 

“Come on, Homura-chan,” Madoka said.

Homura quickly hurried to her side. She felt almost excited. What had been so scary last time she was fine with now. So long as she was going with Madoka, she knew she'd be safe. 

The three girls walked into the city proper. Neither seemed nervous about their task and Homura wasn't either. 

Mami had her soul gem out, following some trail that she must have understood. It didn't make any sense to Homura.

“There's one nearby,” she said, “Ready, Madoka?” 

“Ready,” Madoka replied confidently. 

They both transformed. 

“Stay with me, okay, Homura-chan,” Madoka said.

“Okay,” Homura sputtered out.

Madoka gave her a smile and they walked into the witch’s labyrinth. The overall scenery was black but figures and objects in abstract colors littered the walls. It reminded Homura of a dream, incoherent and colorful. 

“She knows we're here,” Mami said. Water dripped down on front of them, creating large puddles. The puddles formed into figures that became people. The had no faces besides large toothy grins.

Homura gasped and took a step back. 

Mami summoned her ribbons and they left her a rifle in their wake. She picked it up and aimed at the figure.

Madoka summoned her bow and also took aim. 

The figures rushed forward and both girls fired. Two of the figures exploded into water droplets. The rest moved forward, their movements as fluid as water itself.

Madoka launched another arrow and took out another figure.

The two of them took out the familiars without any difficulty. They weren't even injured after the fight.

Homura watched them in awe.  Deep down, Homura knew she could never be like that. She couldn't be as cool as them.

“Let's keep going,” Mami said, “The witch is further in.” 

“Are you still okay, Homura-chan?” Madoka asked.

Homura nodded but made sure to stay close. She had no doubts that Madoka would protect her if it came down to that.

They continued on. Maybe it was because they were magical girls but Mami and Madoka didn't seem to be bothered by the dream-like appearance of the labyrinth. It sure bothered Homura. The colors were bold and ugly. The scenery changed even as they stood still. Paper-like figures moved all around then. Homura could hear children's laughter. It was so disconcerting but she kept going. If she wanted to be a magical girl, she'd have to be brave like Madoka.

They entered an underwater scene. Everything was blue, from the sky to the ground to the familiars circling them. And in front of them was a woman. She had long black hair that drifted in the water. Her skin was a pale green and her hands were webbed and clawed. She was singing. 

Maybe because she knew what it was this time, but this witch didn't seem as scary as the last one Homura saw. This one reminded her of a siren. 

“Let's go, Madoka,” Mami said. Her ribbons swirled around them, dropping several rifles in a perfect circle. 

Madoka’s bow appeared in her hand and she aimed at the witch. 

Homura held her breath.

Mami sent a ribbon at the witch. It wrapped around its hand and the witch screamed. 

Homura covered her ears. The noise was almost unbearable. She'd never heard such a horrible sound.

Madoka released her arrow and it exploded as it hit the witch. It swiped at the three of them with a clawed hand. 

Mami jumped away. Madoka wrapped an arm around Homura and leapt out of the way.

Homura's heart beat rapidly. Whether it was the adrenaline of the fight or because a cute girl was holding her, Homura didn't know. She knew she was a lesbian but Madoka really was someone special.

Madoka set her back down and Homura missed being so close. But Madoka looked back at the witch and released another arrow. 

Homura looked around the scene. Mami was firing her rifles at the witch. She'd discard one and then fired again. 

Familiars shambled towards them. “Kaname-san,” Homura said, backing into Madoka.

She turned and dispatched the familiars with ease.

“Thank you, Homura-chan,” Madoka said and turned her attention back to the witch.

Another shot had it screeching in pain. 

Mami summoned a massive gun, as big as a cannon. “Tiro finale!” 

The cannon fired and the witch burned. She screamed the entire time. The scene around them faded into the normal world again. Homura couldn't have been more grateful. She hated the distorted world of the labyrinth.

“We did it,” Madoka said happily. 

“Good job,” Mami said with a pat on Madoka's shoulder.

“Thanks,” Madoka replied with a smile, “And you're okay, Homura-chan?”

“I'm okay,” Homura replied quietly. The world Madoka lived in was scary but Homura didn't mind being part of it. So long as she was with Madoka.

* * *

“Do you want to go out with my friends and I today? It'll be fun,” Madoka said. She leaned over Homura's desk with a bright smile.

Homura could feel her heart racing. “You mean Miki-san and Shizuki-san?” She was aware of who they were, as they were classmates, but neither had tried to really talk to her since her arrival at the school. 

“Yes. Sayaka-chan and Hitomi-chan will really like you, Homura-chan. It'll be fun.”

“O-okay,” Homura agreed quietly. She was hesitant but Madoka seemed to want to do this. So she could do it too.

“That's great, we'll have a good time, I promise,” Madoka said happily. 

Class started shortly after and Homura was left to worry about the meeting. She knew Madoka liked her but wanted her friends to like her too. She wasn't used to making or having friends. 

The day seemed to drag as Homura worried but it still ended. She was packing up her things as Madoka approached her desk.

“Are you ready to go?” She asked excitedly.

Homura couldn’t be more nervous but nodded.

Madoka took her hand and Homura’s heart skipped a beat. It should have concerned her more than it did, but all she could look at was Madoka. 

They walked back to where Madoka’s friends were waiting. Sayaka had a big grin on her face while Hitomi had only a graceful smile. 

“Ready to go?” Sayaka asked.

“We're ready,” Madoka replied cheerfully. 

They took Homura to a restaurant. It was greasy fast food but the girls seemed to like it. But Homura couldn't eat anything. Her diet was pretty strict, especially after just getting out of the hospital. 

“Do you wanna eat something?” Madoka asked.

Homura shook her head. She really couldn't but she didn't want to make Madoka feel bad. “I'm not hungry. But thank you.”

Madoka seemed a little worried but she didn't voice her concerns. 

The four girls sat down together. They chatted about their day and Homura just kept quiet. She didn't really know what to add and besides, she felt like an intruder. Madoka, Sayaka, and Hitomi had obviously been friends for a while. Homura just didn't share that with them. 

“What do you think, Homura-chan?”

Homura broke out of her thoughts to see all three of them looking at her. She wasn't even sure what they were talking about. Something about another of their teacher's rants. 

“Oh-I,” Homura was stuttering and she knew it. They probably thought she was a fool. She hated it.

“She only wants to protect us, right?” Madoka said. 

Homura quickly nodded in agreement.

“I think she just wants to complain and we have no choice but to listen,” Sayaka said.

“It isn't really the most appropriate time,” Hitomi agreed.

“Or audience,” Sayaka said.

Homura nodded in agreement. It was a little weird that their teacher told them about her love life but Homura wasn't brave enough to voice more of an opinion. 

“So, Akemi-san, do you like our school?” Hitomi asked.

“Oh, yes, it's a nice school,” Homura stammered. She hated how weak she sounded. She wanted to be bolder. She wanted to be like Madoka. 

The girl in question was smiling at her. “We’re all glad you came here, Homura-chan.”

“We don't get transfer students that often,” Sayaka said, “And you're cool.”

“Oh, thank you,” Homura said. She didn't think she was cool. She was far too shy to be cool.

They left the restaurant not long after. Sayaka and Hitomi went in one direction and Madoka and Homura went in the other, to Homura's house. Madoka was walking her home.

“What did you think?” Madoka asked, “Hitomi-chan and Sayaka-chan like you.”

“They're both nice,” Homura said. But they weren't like Madoka. She knew they only put up with her for Madoka. She wasn't bold enough to keep up with them.

“I'm glad you like them,” Madoka said, “They're my closest friends so I'm glad you all get along.”

“Do they know that you're a magical girl?” Homura asked quietly.

Madoka shook her head. “I have to keep it a secret from everyone. Even Hitomi-chan and Sayaka-chan.”

“It must be lonely,” Homura said.

“Not at all. I have Kyuubey and Mami-chan and now you, Homura-chan. You're all there for me even when it gets hard.”

“Thank you for trusting me,” Homura said. She felt honored that Madoka relied on her in a way her close friends couldn't. 

“We're friends, Homura-chan. Of course I trust you.” 

Homura couldn't believe how lucky she was. She had never had a friend like Madoka in her life before. 

“Homura-chan?” Madoka looked at her with concern.

“Thank you for being my friend,” Homura said.

“I'm glad we're friends,” Madoka said with a smile. 

Homura couldn't remember being happier.

* * *

"I'd better go now." Madoka said. She looked so calm, despite the destruction around them.

"But, Tomoe-san just got killed," Homura replied. Mami’s body lay in front of them. She looked peaceful in death. 

“That's why I have to go. I'm the only one left who can stop Walpurgisnacht.” 

“But it's impossible! No one could beat that thing alone! You'll just be killed too!” Homura’s heart ached just thinking about it. She’d never met anyone like Madoka before. She was so selfless, confident, kind, and wonderful. The world would be such a dark place without her. 

“Even then, I'm a magical girl. I have to protect everyone.” 

She wasn’t listening and Homura only became sadder. “Listen. Let's just run away. There's nothing we can do so no one will blame you.” She was starting to cry. 

Madoka turned back around. “Homura-chan, I'm really glad I became friends with you. Even now, the fact that we were in time to save you from that witch, it's one of my proudest accomplishments. That's why, I'm really glad in the end that I chose to become a magical girl.” She smiled at Homura. 

Homura passed out. 

She awoke a few minutes later and her head was screaming. A drum beat echoed in her head over and over again. The rhythm was fast, like a bomb about to explode. It hurt. Homura’s head hurt so much.

“Homura-chan, are you okay?” Madoka asked.

“My head,” Homura managed to say. Even saying the words hurt. The beat grew louder as Madoka leaned closer to her. She put a hand on Homura’s shoulder and the drumbeat changed. It grew slower and sweeter. There was almost a happiness to it. An affection but Homura didn’t understand how she knew that. It just sounded like a drum beat. 

Madoka smiled at her. “We’re soulmates, Homura-chan.”

Homura felt like she’d been punched in the gut. Madoka was her soulmate. 

Not everyone had a soulmate. In fact, very few did. But those who did weren’t blessed. Having a soulmate was a curse. Those who were soulmates had a bond formed after a special moment between them. The bond was painful and the formation often caused people to pass out. And once the bond was made, you heard a drumbeat in your head. It would grow louder or softer depending on how close to your soulmate you were. And Madoka was Homura’s soulmate.

“Kaname-san, we’re soulmates now,” Homura said. She took Madoka’s hand. “Please, don’t do this. Please don’t leave me.”

“I don’t want to leave you,” Madoka said. The smile faded from her face and the song turned sad. “But I have to. I have to protect everyone.”

“Please.” Homura didn’t mind begging. She knew now why Madoka was there to save her that day. They had to learn they were soulmates. 

“I’m sorry.” Madoka leaned in and kissed Homura’s forehead. She had never felt so loved before and she could hear it in the bond.

Then Madoka pulled away. The sweetness faded out, replaced with harsh drum beats.

“No. Don't go! Kaname-san!”

* * *

It was raining. The water filled the city and was already ankle deep. The sky was yellow but was returning to normal colors. 

Walpurgisnacht was dead.

And so was Madoka.

Homura knew the moment it happened. The pounding drumbeat had gone silent and Homura felt cold. The tears rose unbidden. Homura collapsed to the ground. She tried to breathe but her throat closed and she choked on air. Homura felt her heart constrict and she started to suffocate. She felt like she was dying and Madoka was dead. Losing Madoka felt like losing all the joy in the world. Homura almost couldn’t remember what happiness even felt like. There was no color in the world without Madoka. The drum beat was deafeningly loud but once it was gone, all Homura wanted was to have it back again. 

It had taken her a while to find Madoka’s body. She climbed through debris. Her clothes were dirty and her palms were scraped up. But she didn’t care. She found her and collapsed next to her. She touched her unmoving hand, which was still warm.  She wanted the song to change, to become that wonderful beat again but she heard nothing. Her head was empty. 

Madoka didn’t look peaceful. She looked almost afraid. Had she been afraid to die? Homura hadn’t sensed it in her but she was barely given any time to understand the soulmate bond before it was taken away. 

“Why?” She asked. Tears stung her eyes. “You knew you were going to get killed. I'd rather you had lived than saved someone like me.” Madoka’s life wasn’t worth her own. She would give anything to have Madoka back on Earth. She just wanted her soulmate back. Love wasn't a feeling she was familiar with but now she knew. And she needed it back.

“Do you really mean that Akemi Homura?” a voice asked from behind her. “Would you put your soul at stake for that wish? If there something you want badly enough to accept a destiny of battle, then I can be of help to you.”

Homura looked up. Kyuubey sat on some rubble, watching her with unblinking eyes. 

“If I make a contract with you, can you really grant me any wish I want?” Homura asked.

“It seems that you have enough potential for it. So tell me what is the wish that will make your Soul Gem shine?” 

This was the natural solution. She wanted the impossible. Kyuubey could give that to her. She knew what it would do but she didn’t care. She’d pay any price to be with her soulmate again. She just couldn’t bear the silence.

“I-” Homura wiped her eyes and stood up. If she was going to live up her name, she had to start now. “I want to redo my meeting with Kaname-san but this time, instead of her protecting me, I want to become strong enough to protect her!”

She and Kyuubey stared at each other for a few moments. Then the pain hit. This was nothing like the soulmate bond. She could tell that this was bad. She wasn’t supposed to do this to her soul but she didn’t care. She didn’t care how much pain she was in, so long as Madoka was alive again. 

“The contract has been made,” Kyuubey said, “ Your wish has prevailed over entropy. So, go now, unleash your new power.”

Homura reached forward to the light shining in front of her. She grabbed it. Then the world started to spin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on this project on and off for over a year so I'm really happy to publish it. I'll be posting chapters on Fridays and Mondays until it's complete.  
> Thank you for reading. Please leave a kudos or comment if you enjoyed it. I'll see you on Monday for chapter 2.


	2. Chapter 2

_ I'm a flame, you're a fire, _

_ I'm the dark in need of light. _

_ When we touch, you inspire, _

_ Feel it changin’ me tonight. _

_ Firestone, Kygo ft. Conrad Sewell _

 

* * *

Homura opened her eyes.

Her head was pounding. 

She sat up, the light from the window blinding her. The world was blurry without her glasses but she recognized the hospital. She'd woken up here many times before. 

Had she just dreamed everything? But she could hear a strong beat in her head. And she could feel something in her palm.

She opened her hand and saw a purple gem encased in gold. It was a soul gem, like Madoka and Mami had. 

Homura was a magical girl. It hadn't been a dream.

The song in her head was giving her a headache. It felt lively and almost happy. Was Madoka happy? Homura hoped so. She couldn't wait to see her again. Now she was a magical girl too. She was scared but she'd be okay. She had Madoka. She'd teach her how to fight. 

Homura was released from the hospital that day. Her parents took her back to the apartment and more or less left her alone. They hadn't even noticed anything different about her. So far, this was all playing out like it had last time. But Homura would make sure it didn't end that way.

The day passed by far too slowly. Homura just moved about her room, preparing herself for her first day back to school. She'd done it all already but she was still excited. The nervousness she'd felt was gone. Now she'd see Madoka. 

The beat in her head had slowed down, as if Madoka was bored. It was the middle of the day so Homura knew which class she was in. At least Madoka would go to lunch soon. She'd be with Sayaka and Hitomi so she'd feel happier. 

Homura would have an easier time this time around. She knew everything that was to come. 

* * *

The teacher called her in, after going on about her boyfriend. It was all the same. 

Homura felt a little more confident even as everyone stared at her. She scanned the room and quickly spotted a familiar girl with pink pigtails. 

The song told her Madoka was feeling happy. But there was no surprise, no recognition. Still, Homura had to try. 

“Now then, why don’t you tell your classmates about yourself?” the teacher asked.

“My name is Akemi Homura. I’m very pleased to meet you.” Homura had some control over her life now. When before she’d been nothing but a sick girl in a hospital, powerless against anything life threw at her, now she felt a bit more confident. She was a magical girl. And she had a soulmate.

As the teacher was speaking, she rushed towards Madoka. She gripped her hands and the song turned sweeter and faster. She felt so happy to be back with Madoka and the song agreed.

“Kaname-san, I'm a magical girl now too. Let’s do our best together from now on.”

Confusion punctuated the song, followed by embarrassment. Madoka looked at Homura awkwardly and then the rest of the class.

“Eh, why don't you have a seat, Akemi-san,” the teacher said.

Homura didn't even feel embarrassed. She dreaded letting go of Madoka but slowly released her hand, the song faded back into its usual patterns. The beat was irregular, signaling Madoka’s confusion. But Homura just took a seat and enjoyed listening to it. It was so strong in her head and she shared this bond with Madoka. Just the high made her happy. 

The first class passed painfully slowly but eventually, it ended. As everyone took a break, Madoka took Homura outside the classroom. They passed through the hallways in silence. 

Homura hated how the song sounded. It was fast paced and loud. Madoka was unhappy. Homura wasn't sure why but she knew she'd find out soon. 

The girls found a quiet corner.

“Akemi-san, how do you know I'm a magical girl?” Madoka asked.

“I went back in time to save you,” Homura replied. There wasn't any point in lying. 

“Save me?” Madoka questioned.

“You-,” Homura paused. Should she tell Madoka that she died? Probably not. “You were hurt during Walpurgisnaught. I went back in time to make sure you weren't. I'm a magical girl too.”

“You went back in time?” Madoka asked. 

“Yes,” Homura replied quickly. She was still so nervous. Sure, she’d done this before but not like this. Not as Madoka’s soulmate. 

“That’s amazing,” Madoka said. 

The song turned joyous and excited. Homura could feel her tension melting away. 

“I need to tell Mami-chan. She’s an upperclassman,” Madoka said.

“Okay,” Homura replied. She should probably play a bit dumber for the moment. She could answer direct questions but she’d probably scare Madoka with too much information.

“Since we’re both magical girls, we should be friends,” Madoka suggested, “You can call me Madoka. And I’ll call you Homura, okay?”

“O-okay,” Homura replied. She wasn’t going to call Madoka by her first name though. 

“Let's talk again after school,” Madoka said with a smile. 

Homura nodded in agreement and together, they walked back to class. Everyone stared at them upon their return but Madoka didn't pay it any mind. Homura tried not to either but she hated the feeling of everyone's eyes on her. 

The day passed by in a blur, as Homura had done it all before. She felt strong enough to run, could do the math problems and didn't feel quite so isolated anymore. When the day ended, Madoka and Homura met up with Mami. 

“Mami-chan,” Madoka said happily, “This is Homura-chan. She's a magical girl like us.”

“I'm Akemi Homura,” Homura said with a bow, “It's nice to meet you.”

“I'm Tomoe Mami. It's nice to meet you too, Akemi-san,” Mami returned the greeting. 

It seemed strange to see Mami like this when the last time Homura saw her, she'd been dead. She could still picture that peaceful expression she'd had.

“When did you become a magical girl?” Mami asked.

“Very recently,” Homura replied, avoiding eye contact, “I haven't fought any witches yet.”

“Well, let's see what you can do,” Mami said.

She led the two girls to a bridge. Madoka felt some confusion but she trusted Mami, even if she didn't understand. Homura didn't understand why Madoka didn't seem to have the song when she did. They were soulmates; they had been last time. Maybe this time Madoka wasn't her soulmate. But the thought made Homura upset, so she pushed it to the back of her mind. It would happen again. She just needed to wait for their moment. She just hoped she didn't have to wait until Walpurgisnacht for it to happen again.

Under the bridge, Mami set up a barrel and had a golf club. “Here you go, Akemi-san.” 

Homura took the golf club and looked between Madoka and Mami. 

“Go ahead and transform,” Mami said. 

“Okay. Here I go.” Homura wasn't sure how to but Madoka and Mami always made it look easy. She was able to summon her soul gem and focused on that. Within a moment, she was dressed differently and had a shield strapped to her left arm.

Homura looked at herself as best she could. She had a skirt as part of her outfit but it looked like she was wearing leggings underneath. That was better at least than Mami or Madoka. She wouldn't want thigh high socks or a big skirt while she was fighting for her life.

“You look cute, Homura-chan,” Madoka said.

Homura blushed at her comment. Madoka was always so nice. And she thought Homura looked cute as a magical girl! 

“Go ahead, Akemi-san,” Mami said.

Homura rushed forward, her grip on the golf club uncertain. 

The world froze. Mami and Madoka remained unmoving in place. The sound of cars overhead ceased. 

But Homura didn't stop. She attempted to attack the barrel but missed the first time. She looked back at Mami and Madoka but they hadn’t seen, still frozen in time. Homura tried again. She smacked the barrel with the club over and over again, creating large dents in the sides. She hadn’t realized she was so strong. It would stop midair in front of her but Homura attacked it mercilessly. After all, she wanted to impress Mami and Madoka.

The barrel crashed to the ground and Homura had to catch her breath. Mami and Madoka followed the barrel and Homura could hear Madoka’s confusion. It was an irregular pattern, beating in strange intervals in Homura's head. But still, she didn't mind it. In fact, she loved it. She understood Madoka better because of it. 

“What do you think, Mami-chan?” Madoka asked.

“Time magic, I see,” Mami said thoughtfully.

“Can we use it?” Madoka asked.

“Yes, but it will be tricky,” Mami replied, “Akemi-san has a shield but no physical weapon. She'll have to find her own.”

“I'll find one,” Homura said, “I want to be useful.” 

“You will be,” Madoka said, “We'll teach you how to be a magical girl.”

Homura couldn't help but smile. This all made her wish completely worth it.

* * *

Homura knew she needed to pick a better weapon. The shield would be a good defense but she'd need something that could actually kill witches. 

The answer was obvious when she thought about it. Bombs. It would have the firepower to kill witches in one explosion. And Mami and Madoka fought with ranged weapons so Homura could use something like that without anyone getting hurt. It seemed perfect.

Except she needed to get the materials for it. And she needed to find a way to make them. 

Finding online guides was actually quite easy. And many materials were easy to find. Others were not and Homura had to resort to stealing them. She hoped it didn't get anyone in trouble but she needed these things to survive the war she'd joined. She had to take them.

She spent most nights staying up late, working on her bombs. Every night, she watched her soul gem grow darker and darker. She had to fight a witch soon. 

* * *

A week after meeting Mami and Madoka, Homura fought her first witch. It didn't even look like a person. It was the chest and bottom of a girl and nothing else. It's labyrinth was mostly clothes lines with uniform shirts. Out of the witch’s skirt, school items rained down on the girls.

Homura was so scared. She had seen witches before but she'd never been expected to fight them. She clung to a clothesline, desperate not to fall to the ground she couldn't see. 

Madoka and Mami ran up the clothesline as if they were paths instead of tightropes. Homura could hear the notes of the song going lower and faster. Madoka was scared. But her face didn't show it as she attacked the witch. From an outside perspective, she wasn't scared at all. But Homura knew better.

“Do it, Akemi-san,” Mami said.

“You can do it, Homura-chan,” Madoka said.

“O-okay,” Homura said. Time froze around her, muting the colors and stopping all movement. Everything and everyone stood frozen. Except Homura.

As quickly as she could, she ran along the clotheslines, careful to keep her balance as she got closer.

From her shield, Homura pulled out a bomb. It was simple but powerful. She'd even fashioned a detonator for it. 

She got as close as she dared and threw the bomb into the witch’s skirt. Once it left her possession, the bomb continued its trajectory for a few moments before stopping as well. 

Homura allowed time to resume and she leapt off the clothes line, closing her eyes so she wouldn't have to watch. The bomb went off and she could feel the heat from the explosion. The witch didn't cry out but was blown to pieces.

Homura's fall was stopped by Mami's ribbons. She opened her eyes again to see the she was safe. The labyrinth was disintegrating around her.

“I did it.”

Mami let her down on the ground and Madoka hugged her. The song exploded in happiness as Madoka held her. Homura still wasn't used to this. The song felt like second nature at this point but having Madoka so close, feeling this kind of happiness was unusual. But Homura loved it.

“You did it! You did it!” Madoka said, shaking her in her happiness.

“Thank you,” Homura replied, still caught so off guard she could say nothing else.

This life wasn't so bad. She had to fight but she could do that. And she had Madoka and that made it all worth it.

* * *

Homura and Madoka sat on top of a building. It was late at night and the city seemed quiet. They'd defeated a witch earlier in the day. Mami had gone home but the two girls had decided to hang out together. 

“It's so pretty up here,” Madoka said happily. 

Homura couldn't help but smile. Madoka’s happiness poured into Homura's head, the song flying high. “It is,” she agreed. 

“I like all the lights. It's so pretty,” Madoka said.

Homura wanted to tell her that Madoka was the prettiest sight here but she couldn't. She was too shy to even compliment her soulmate. 

“Are you having fun, Homura-chan?” 

“Yes,” Homura said quietly.

“Being a magical girl can be scary and hard sometimes, but I'm glad we're working together,” Madoka said, “I'm glad we’re friends.”

While what Homura felt was certainly stronger than friendship, she treasured all the feelings Madoka gave her. She was just so happy to be close to her, to have this opportunity. At least in this life, even if she was a magical girl, she had Madoka by her side. She'd rather fight and die against the witches than to have never known Madoka as her soulmate.

“Huh? Homura-chan, you've gone quiet.”

“Kaname-san, I'm very happy to be your friend too,” Homura said, “I'm glad things worked out the way they have.”

Madoka gave her a smile. “Thank you for coming up here with me.”

“I love spending time with you.”

“I'm glad.”

Homura and Madoka watched the city beneath them while casually chatting. Sometimes, Homura would allow her leg or hand to brush up against Madoka, to hear the song change. It was her driving force but she loved the girl beside her so much. She would do anything to make sure she stayed safe.

* * *

Homura knew Walpurgisnacht was strong. It lived outside a labyrinth. It caused a giant storm over Mitakihara City. And it had killed both Madoka and Mami the first time Homura had seen it. But she also knew what was coming. She was more prepared for it this time. She wouldn't allow it to kill Madoka.

Despite there being three magical girls, instead of two, nothing went according to plan. Mami was quickly killed by a familiar and left just Madoka and Homura. There was nothing either of them could do. Homura felt all of Madoka’s sadness and fear pour into her and it made it hard to concentrate. But she had to. She had to keep Madoka alive.

And she did, to a degree. Walpurgisnacht had been defeated. A gentle rain poured over the city. The street was flooded so much that Homura's ankles were underwater. But she knelt down next to Madoka. She took her hand, knowing something bad was about to happen. The song quickened in pace and Homura's panic increased.

Madoka had transformed back and was writhing as if in pain. And she had been injured during the fight but nothing bad. Nothing that could cause this. 

Her pain was all emotional. Homura had never felt such grief and despair. It hurt her head to concentrate on and it was only a piece of what Madoka was feeling. She couldn't imagine what it must be like for her. 

“What’s wrong? Kaname-san, hold on.”

“Why?” Madoka asked. Seemingly unconsciously, she lifted up her hand. Instead of a soul gem, she held a grief seed. She released an ear-piercing scream as the grief seed shriveled into itself and released a black mass into the sky. She watched it fly into the clouds and a face appeared back at her.

The strong beats of the song faded from Homura’s mind and followed the mass. The song turned into a discordant series of notes, painful to hear and jarring to concentrate on. Madoka’s hand dropped to the ground, a dead weight. 

“What?” 

A cone shape formed on the ground, sucking in all the rain. The dark melodies grew stronger and more painful. And underneath it all, Homura could hear screaming. It was Madoka's anguished cries coupled with the distorted song. She tried to cover her ears to block out the dreadful noise but it didn’t get any quieter. If anything, it got louder. Homura didn’t understand what was happening. That thing held the song but Madoka was right in front of her. 

“Why? How? How could that-” 

The thing had to be Madoka’s soul. But it looked like a witch. The song felt corrupted, only horrifying sounds of pain and anguish filled Homura’s head. The Madoka in front of her was nothing more than an empty body. Homura’s soulmate was a witch.

As Homura reset the world again, she realized that Madoka had not heard the song this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be out on Friday. Please leave a kudos or comment if you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading. :)


	3. Chapter 3

_ Whatever you do don’t ever lose your faith, _

_ The devil’s quick to love, lust, and fame. _

_ Better to say yes than never know, _

_ Sell yourself to save your soul. _

_ Rescue Me, Thirty Seconds to Mars _

 

* * *

Homura woke up. She slowly moved the covers off herself and took in the world around her. It was a white hospital room, one she’d woken up in many times before. There was no war zone. There was no destruction, no body, no witches. She’d rewound time again. 

But the previous timeline had proved one thing: magical girls became witches. Madoka had turned into a witch. Her heart ached remembering what had happened but the song beat steadily in her head, telling her that Madoka was still asleep at the moment. She was alive and perfectly content. She was safe, for now. 

But Homura was still anxious. If Madoka was a magical girl, she was in danger. They all were. 

Homura's hand was shaking as she put on her glasses. “I have to warn everyone.”

* * *

Homura's first day at school was not too different from the previous time. She smiled and said her name with confidence. She had to help the teacher spell it but she knew it was an unusual name. 

And, that didn't really matter. All the mattered was the girl with the peach hair ribbons looking at her. She was excited and happy. Homura could live solely off Madoka's happiness. 

This time, Homura didn't approach Madoka until the break. She didn't want to make herself look weird again, especially to Madoka. She had to do this more subtly. She had to warn her about the witches. And Kyuubey.

“Who's the nurse’s aid in this class?” Homura asked the girls gathering around her desk. They did this every time she was the new student but didn't talk to her afterwards. They were so shallow.

“It's Kaname-san,” one of them replied. They all looked to Madoka. Homura smiled. She already knew the answer.

“Right, you need to take your medicine, Akemi-san,” Madoka said. She stood up and walked over to her. Sayaka and Hitomi were giving her a calm look but Homura didn't like it. Something about Sayaka struck her as different. She wondered what changed this time.

Madoka ended up talking quite a bit during their walk. Homura didn’t have the heart to interrupt her with her revelations so she just calmly answered her questions. By the end, Madoka was calling her “Homura-chan” again and Homura loved it. 

Homura waited until after school to try and catch up with Madoka. She expected her to meet up with Mami and start on the hunt for witches. What caught her off guard was Sayaka going with Madoka. Together, they joined Mami and walked into the city.

Confused, Homura followed behind, making sure the girls didn’t leave her sight. Between watching them and keeping a hand on her soul gem, occasionally checking for nearby witches, it wasn’t difficult to discover their target. They walked to the nearby mall and, when they thought no one was looking, went underneath it. Homura was quick to follow.

The girls had disappeared by the time she got inside but Homura knew a witch was nearby. They had to be in her labyrinth. She hoped Sayaka hadn’t made a wish. 

Homura transformed and entered into the labyrinth. She wasn't sure she'd ever get used to the unusual texture and bright colors. It just showed how wrong this place was.

Homura hurried along the main path. It would lead her directly to the witch and hopefully, to Madoka. 

It didn't take long to enter the main chamber. And Homura stopped dead. 

She expected to see Madoka and Mami there, weapons in hand, firing at the witch. What she didn't expect was Sayaka, clad in blue with a sword in her hand, getting in close. She'd made a wish. 

“Kaname-san,” Homura said, running over to Mami and Madoka. They both turned to her.

“Homura-chan?” Madoka asked, “What are you doing here?” There was confusion and maybe the lightest twinge of joy. Madoka was happy to see her.

“I'm a magical girl,” Homura said quickly, “I can help.”

“We'd welcome the help,” Mami said with a smile. 

Homura nodded and rushed forward. Sayaka was in close to the witch so Homura would have to be careful with her bomb. But once she planted it, she should be able to destroy the witch.

She allowed time to stop around her. She got in closer, passing by a frozen Sayaka. She felt a moment of pity for the girl who'd sold her soul but there was nothing she could do for her. Not in this timeline.

She approached the witch. This one looked like a clock tower and dolls were scattered all over the labyrinth. Homura didn't recognize this one.

But she got closer and activated her bomb. She threw it into the top of the tower. And time resumed.

“What?” Sayaka asked, stopping near Homura.

“Run,” Homura instructed. When Sayaka didn't move, Homura grabbed her arm and backed away. Sayaka was little more than a dead weight and Homura knew they were going to be hit. At least Madoka was far enough away.

The bomb exploded. The witch screamed as she burned. Sayaka screamed too as she and Homura were flown away from the blast. Homura could feel the pain of fire light up her back. Then she crashed onto the ground, her side now flaring up in pain. The labyrinth disappeared around them.

Madoka's worry hit Homura first. “Sayaka-chan!” She said and raced over to her friend. Homura couldn't help but feel jealous. She wanted her soulmate to be concerned for her.

Sayaka was back in her uniform. She sat up and looked at Madoka. “I'm okay.”

“I'm glad,” Madoka replied with a gentle smile. 

Homura sat up too, realizing she too was back in her uniform. She had some pain from the fight but she could easily heal it with her soul gem later.

“Hey!” Sayaka called out. She marched over to Homura. Homura stood up and matched her glance, feeling a bit nervous. She didn't like confrontation.

“What was that?” Sayaka demanded, “You could have killed us all.”

“It was a controlled blast,” Homura said quietly, “If you get away fast enough, it shouldn't hurt anyone.”

“But you almost hurt  _ me _ !” Sayaka said.

“Please don't fight,” Madoka said, getting between the two girls. 

Sayaka glared at Homura but backed up.

“I'm sorry, Miki-san,” Homura said with a bow, “I didn't mean to get you caught in the explosion.”

“Yeah, well you almost did,” Sayaka said. She crossed her arms and turned away.

Madoka looked at Sayaka sadly, and then at Homura. “Are you okay, Homura-chan?”

“Yes,” Homura said, “Thank you, Kaname-san.”

“You knew we are magical girls, didn’t you?” Mami asked. She approached the girls and looked warily at Homura. 

Homura nodded meekly. “I had to warn you about Kyuubey.” 

Mami and Madoka exchanged a concerned glance and then looked back at Homura.

Homura took a deep breath. “He's tricking you. He put our souls into the soul gems. And when they become dark, we become witches.”

The girls were silent. Homura expected horror or surprise but got nothing but confusion. They didn't seem to care about what she'd said.

“Okay, look, what could Kyuubey possibly gain by telling us such a huge lie?” Sayaka asked, turning back around to look at Homura.

“Well, um-” Homura hadn’t thought this through. She thought they’d believe her, that they’d trust her. But they had no reason to trust her. She’d only just met them again.

“I bet you’re just saying that to get us all to turn against each other! In fact, you’re probably working with that Kyoko girl, aren’t you?”

“N-no, I’m not!”

“Sayaka-chan, you’re the one who’s turning against people here,” Madoka said.

Homura took a breath. At least Madoka was on her side.

Sayaka looked disappointed. “Whatever. Personally, I’m against teaming up with this girl. You and Mami-san are fine since you use long-range weapons. But I fight right in the thick of things, and having bombs go off in my face is something I can live without. I was almost caught in the blast!”

Mami looked at her. “Akemi-san, are there any weapons you can use besides bombs?”

Homura looked up at her and then back at the ground. “I’ll think of something.” She had to. It was the only way to stay close to Madoka.

* * *

Homura let time stop. Compared to rewinding time by a month, this was a much simpler feat, even if she was going to be doing it for a while. After all, the yakuza couldn't see a fourteen year old girl rifling through their things. That would be too dangerous.

Homura crept into the base, despite the fact that no one could hear her. There were people everywhere, frozen in time.  She searched through spare rooms and lockers for weapons. She found guns, ammunition, and even more bombs. At least this was all being taken away from these people. Homura would put it to better use.

She collected everything she could find and left the place, allowing time to resume. She could do this. Madoka would survive this time. 

* * *

It wasn't long after that that Homura met Kyoko. They were on another witch hunt. This one was near the school so they had to take care of it for their classmates’ sake.

This witch was part insect part human. It had soulless eyes and a dark exoskeleton on its body. It was pretty creepy to look at, especially since it summoned cockroach looking creatures to attack them.

Homura was trying to shoot it but she was still inexperienced with the guns. She had to freeze time, line up the shot and then fire. It was draining her magic and she could only hope that they'd let her have the grief seed once they were done with this. 

Sayaka got in close while the rest of them stayed back. Madoka was trying to protect Sayaka while Mami and Homura tried to keep the cockroaches off everyone. It was tiring, especially since Sayaka’s sword kept bouncing off the witch’s exoskeleton without leaving a scratch. 

A girl ran past Homura and Mami and Homura looked at her. She had long red hair and was dressed in red. She had a long spear that easily dispatched the cockroaches in front of her. 

“Who is that?” Homura asked. She froze time and shot at a cockroach approaching Madoka.

“That's Sakura Kyoko-san,” Mami said, firing on another cockroach. It squeaked as it died.

“That's the girl Miki-san mentioned.”

“She came here a little while ago. She and Sayaka-san don't get along.”

There wasn't much Homura could do in this situation. She kept her eyes on Madoka to make sure she wouldn't be overwhelmed, while passing occasional glances to Kyoko and Sayaka.

The two were clearly rivals, each vying to attack the witch, to the point where they were pushing each other out of the way to get there. 

“They're going to hurt each other!” Homura said.

“Yes, they will,” Mami replied. 

The witch’s legs caught the two girls and sent them flying into the walls of the labyrinth. They slowly slid down until they hit the ground again. Neither one appeared to be in good shape.

“Sayaka-chan!” Madoka screeched and ran to her friend, ignoring the cockroaches on the field. She was panicking and it made Homura's heart race.

“Kaname-san!” Homura called. She paused time and fired at the cockroaches, one shot at a weak point each. Then she looked to the witch.

Neither Sayaka nor Kyoko had done much damage to it. And now that they were in the back of the room, Homura could kill it. She ran forward, still a little unsteady on her heels. Why she'd have high heeled shoes as a magical girl, while fighting for her life, she'd never know.

She prepared one of her bombs and approached the witch, using its frozen limbs to get closer to it.

She was lucky that it's mouth was open. She threw the bomb and watched it stop in midair.

Homura rushed off the witch and closer to Mami. She allowed time to resume but she didn't stop running.

Everyone was looking at her as the witch exploded behind her. The force of the explosion made her stumble and she fell to the ground. The labyrinth faded away until the grass of the school field surrounded her.

She allowed her transformation to fade away. She was utterly exhausted.

“What was that for?” Sayaka demanded.

Homura looked up but Sayaka was looking at Kyoko. Both girls were in regular clothes and glaring at each other.

“I didn't see you defeating it,” Kyoko said, “I thought I'd come and take the grief seed myself.”

“Well, I did have it,” Sayaka said, “I didn't need you!”

Technically, both girls had done nothing. Homura had defeated the witch. She pulled out her soul gem only to see it mostly black. Only a slice of purple remained. 

“Um,” Homura said, “Can I have the grief seed? I'm almost out of magic.”

Madoka looked at her, then to her soul gem, and back to Sayaka and Kyoko. “Sayaka-chan-”

“I'm not gonna stand here and be insulted. I’ll just take the grief seed and go,” Kyoko said and she started walking away.

“And why do you get it? I was working harder than you,” Sayaka said as she followed after her.

Homura tried again. “Sakura-san, I really need-” 

Kyoko ignored Homura as she strode past her and picked up the grief seed. Homura watched in horror as she applied it to her bright red soul gem. Almost no darkness came out.

“What the hell? I could have used that!” Sayaka said.

“You were too slow,” Kyoko said. She took a candy bar out of her sweatshirt pocket, opened it and took a bite. “See you around.” She walked off into the darkness of the night.

“Jeez, what a jerk,” Sayaka said and walked back to the other girls.

Homura felt terrified. She didn't have enough magic to go through another fight. And if she waited, she’d become a witch.

“It'll be okay, Homura-chan,” Madoka said. She put a hand on Homura's shoulder and all of a sudden, the world felt warmer. The song grew louder and sweeter, like the swell of a beautiful melody. Homura wanted Madoka to hear it so badly. The music only died down for Madoka's voice. “We'll make sure you’ll get a grief seed.”

Homura nodded. She wanted to stay like this forever.

* * *

It was a difficult night. Homura knew she could trust Madoka but she was still worried. She was already so close to being a witch. What if Kyoko stole the grief seed? What if Sayaka insisted on having it? She knew being sad would only draw her closer to becoming a witch but it was hard to then not worry about that. She didn't sleep very well that night.

Once she got to school, Homura collapsed onto her desk. She didn't bother to look up, just heard the song grow louder in her head until Madoka was right in front of her. Homura looked up.

Madoka was smiling at her. She has a small cut on her chin. “Good morning, Homura-chan.”

“Good morning, Kaname-san,” Homura replied.

“On the break, meet me outside, okay?” Madoka asked. She was really happy about something.

Homura nodded her head. The teacher walked in after that and Madoka had to return to her own desk. 

The morning passed so slowly, as Homura was anxious to find out what Madoka wanted from her. She glanced at her every once in a while and she showed her excitement, all but bouncing in her seat.

But eventually, the time came and the break began. Homura hurried out of the classroom. She saw Sayaka talking to Madoka and decided she'd just wait outside for her. As she walked away, the anxiousness in the song became clearer. Madoka really wanted to talk to her.

Homura got outside and found a bench to sit on. She hoped Madoka would show up soon.

It didn't take long to hear the song growing louder. Madoka was running to her. Homura turned to the door to see Madoka opening it.

“Homura-chan,” Madoka said with a smile and finished her run. 

Homura stood up. “Is something wrong, Kaname-san?”

Madoka shook her head. She had such a lovely smile. “I have something for you.” She extended her hands. Cradled in her palms was a grief seed. 

Homura gasped. “I can't accept this. You need it too.”

“No, Homura-chan, I want you to have it. After the witch last night, I got it for you. So you don't have to worry. Please, accept it.”

Cautiously, Homura extended her hand. For the briefest of moments, she brushed against Madoka's hand and the song grew happier. But then it faded away as she picked up the grief seed. She summoned her soul gem into her palm and pressed the grief seed to it. She watched in relief as the nearly black gem became purple once again.

“Thank you,” Homura said with a bow, “Thank you so much.”

“I couldn't let you run out of magic,” Madoka said, “You're my friend. I know you'd do the same for me.”

She didn't know it but those words were more true than she thought.

Homura felt like crying. Madoka really did care for her. “But you put yourself in danger for me. Your face.”

Madoka's hand went to the cut on her chin. “It’s no big deal. It'll heal soon enough. You're more important, Homura-chan.”

The first tear fell before Homura realized she was crying. Madoka's happiness jumped to sadness and she frowned. “What's wrong?”

“Thank you for caring about me,” Homura managed to stutter through. She couldn't stop herself from crying. 

“Homura-chan,” Madoka said and pulled her into a hug. That only made it worse as the song became stronger. 

Homura couldn't remember being so happy.

* * *

Kyoko’s presence wasn’t a one time thing. It seemed that she frequently sought the same witches they did. And usually, she helped them defeat the witch but other times, she was nothing short of a nuisance. Sayaka was more reckless in her presence and the two had a competition of sorts. They fought over who got the grief seed after the fight was done. It left Mami, Madoka, and Homura off on the sidelines, where there were fewer grief seeds to share. 

It got to the point that, after an encounter with Kyoko, Mami, Madoka and Homura found another witch to kill, just to get a grief seed. Mami was in desperate need of one. Once the fight was over and her soul gem was clean, she said, “This fight between Sayaka-san and Kyoko-san cannot continue.”

“I can talk to Sayaka-chan,” Madoka said, “But none of us know Sakura-san very well.”

“Next time Kyoko-san shows up,” Mami looked at Homura, “Akemi-san, take the grief seed. That should get their attention.”

Homura nodded. “Okay.”

It wasn't long after that that the plan was enacted. Kyoko showed up to another battle and both her and Sayaka ended up injured. It was nothing their soul gems couldn't fix but it was a waste of magic. And it made them both desperate for the grief seed. 

Homura froze time so she could survey the scene. They were in a park, with lots of bushes and trees. She hoped it would be in an obvious place. 

And thankfully it was. It rested on a bench only a few paces from the girls. Homura picked it up and looked at it. She didn't particularly need it yet but Madoka could. Sayaka and Kyoko would both be fine for another fight or two.

She allowed time to resume. They were bickering again, seemingly unaware that she'd just teleported easily ten paces away. Homura walked back to where Madoka and Mami stood, holding the grief seed. 

The three exchanged a glance and then Mami walked forward. She separated the two girls and said, “This is enough. Your competition for grief seeds is hurting the rest of us. You two need to learn to work together or need to find different witches to hunt.” 

“There are enough of them here that we don't always have to go after the same ones,” Madoka added.

“I'm not gonna work with you,” Kyoko said, “I'm just gonna take the grief seed and go.”

“I have it,” Homura said proudly, “You can't take it.”

Kyoko looked annoyed by that but thankfully, didn't try to take it from here.

“Sakura-san, if we work together, we can be safer and keep up a regular supply of grief seeds,” Mami said, “Would you like to fight with us?”

“But why would I want to fight with you? She and I don't get along at all,” Kyoko said.

“We need you,” Homura said.

They all looked at her.

“No. We don't,” Sayaka said angrily.

“Walpurgisnacht is coming,” Homura said, “We need everyone's help to stop it.”

“Walpurgisnacht? What's that?” Sayaka asked. She looked dubious.

“It's a powerful witch,” Mami said, “One that doesn't need to stay in a labyrinth.”

“There's something that powerful?” Madoka asked.

“Mami-san is correct,” Kyuubey said. He strolled over to them and climbed up on Mami. “Walpurgisnacht is coming. How did you know, Akemi-san?” He looked at Homura with unblinking eyes. 

“I heard about it,” Homura said awkwardly. 

“We need to work together then,” Madoka said, “Will you join us, Sakura-san?”

Kyoko looked at all of them. “Yeah, I guess. Since we'll all have to fight Walpurgisnacht anyway.”

“And who said I wanna work with her?” Sayaka asked.

“Sayaka-chan, let's not fight anymore,” Madoka said, “It's not just hurting you or hurting her. It's hurting Mami-chan and Homura-chan and I. Please, let's not fight anymore.” 

Sayaka looked almost ashamed. “Okay.” Both Homura and Madoka were relieved to hear it.

“Kaname-san,” Homura said, “Please take the grief seed this time. I know you're running low on magic.”

“Okay. Thank you, Homura-chan,” Madoka said. She cleaned her soul gem with the seed. 

“So we'll meet up again tomorrow to hunt another witch,” Mami said.

They all agreed, some more noncommittally than others but nonetheless, they agreed. It seemed as though the fighting would stop. 

* * *

The next few weeks seemed to move all too quickly. Kyoko and Sayaka were forced to work together and it worked. They were a terrifying duo when they weren't trying to outdo each other. They were easily able to defeat any witch in their way with five of them. 

Homura allowed herself to hope. With five of them and as strong as they were, they should be able to defeat Walpurgisnacht this time. And after that, all Homura had to do was get Madoka to hear the song. Then everything would be okay and the past two timelines would be nothing but bad memories. 

But Homura noticed the first kink in the plan one day at school, about ten days before Walpurgisnacht was going to hit. She was sitting in class, listening to the song. Madoka was talking to Sayaka but she seemed upset about something. And that was making Madoka upset. Homura wanted to say something to Sayaka, but there was nothing she could do. She couldn't stop her from being sad, and she then couldn't stop Madoka from being sad. 

She looked at the two. They seemed to be having a normal conversation. But then Sayaka looked at the doorway. And Madoka followed her gaze. Homura looked too.

Hitomi and Kyousuke had walked into the room, holding hands.  Homura's heart started to beat faster but not because of her. Because of Madoka. 

Homura knew little of Kyousuke, just what the teacher has said when he returned to school. They had apparently been in the same hospital but Homura hadn't met him. He'd been in a accident that crippled his hand but had recovered. They called it a miracle. Based on Sayaka’s horrified expression of her friend and Kyousuke together, Homura had to wonder if she'd used her wish on him. She could even be in love with him.

For Madoka's sake, Homura hoped not. She knew what Sayaka’s despair could do to her. And she hoped that Madoka didn't have to go through that pain.

* * *

For being a newborn witch, Sayaka was a strong one. She had minions surrounding her, ready to fight the rest of them. She sent wooden wheels flying at them from all directions. 

“What the heck are you?” Kyoko called as she avoided the wheels, “What have you done to Sayaka?!”

“Sayaka-chan, stop, please remember,” Madoka called, dodging the wheels as best she could, “I know you never wanted to hurt anyone, Sayaka-” A wheel slammed into her and threw her back. Four more approached her. She wouldn't get up in time.

Homura rushed to her side. Time froze all around her, the colors growing muted. The song stopped in her head. 

Homura stopped in front of Madoka and fired at the wheels approaching her. The bullets stopped just shy of that wheels, frozen in time as well.

Homura let out a quick sigh of relief and then looked back to Madoka. She was terrified. It made Homura's heart hurt just to look at her.

Homura knew that killing Sayaka would hurt her more but she didn't have a choice. She was a witch now. She had to die. “I'm sorry, Miki-san,” Homura said as she prepared her bomb.

She moved closer to the witch and planted it at the base. It wouldn't go off until she allowed time to resume. So she took a step back.

And everything moved around her. The bomb exploded, setting Sayaka’s soul ablaze. The world around them faded back to the train station, until they and Sayaka's body were all that remained.

Kyoko slammed a fist on the guardrail. She wasn’t looking at them. “Sayaka, damn it. How could this happen?”

“It’s too horrible,” Madoka said, “This isn’t right.” Homura could hear the sadness in the song, practically drowning her in sorrow, but she didn’t need it to know Madoka was crying. 

Even Homura was upset. She felt all of Madoka’s pain and it hurt her to know her soulmate hurt so much. This wasn’t fair.

Yellow ribbons wrapped around her and a gunshot sounded. Kyoko collapsed to the ground, reverting back to her normal form. She was dead.

Homura looked at Mami. “Tomoe-san?” 

Mami was crying, barely able to hold her rifle still. “If soul gems give birth to witches then we have no choice but to die, do we?!”

Homura tried to activate her shield but it was no good. She was stuck. “Stop!”

Mami’s soul gem shattered. She managed a shot but it went wide. The ribbons dissolved around her. And Homura looked at Madoka.

She relaxed her stance and allowed her bow to drop. Then she started to sob again. “I don’t want this! I can’t take any more of this!” She collapsed into herself.

Homura didn’t really know what to do. The entire plan was gone. Mami, Sayaka, and Kyoko were all dead in one fell swoop. Homura didn’t know if she and Madoka could defeat Walpurgisnacht together. When they had Mami last time, Madoka had turned into a witch. Could they do it alone and survive?

Homura walked over to Madoka and knelt down next to her. “It’s okay. The two of us will keep going by ourselves. We’ll beat Walpurgisnacht, just the two of us.”

Madoka made eye contact with her. She looked pitiful, face red and eyes puffy, tears streaming down her cheeks. But she nodded. 

Then Madoka gasped and clutched her head, groaning in pain. She curled into a tighter ball, shrinking away from Homura.

“Kaname-san?” Homura asked. She was panicking because Madoka was in pain. She could feel her panic through the bond. 

Homura hoped she knew what was happening. 

Madoka gasped. Homura tired to touch her but she pulled away.

“Kaname-san, what should I do?” Homura asked.

But Madoka didn't reply. It lasted for a few minutes before Madoka relaxed. She took deep breaths and didn't move. She detransformed. 

Homura could only worry more. She dropped her own transformation. “Kaname-san?”

Madoka slowly looked back up at her in amazement. “Homura-chan, you're my soulmate?”

Homura burst into tears. She pulled Madoka into a hug and collapsed onto her shoulder.

“Homura-chan, are you okay?” If Madoka had the song now, she should know how Homura was feeling. But she has just gotten it. She wouldn't understand the nuances yet.

But Homura’s tongue was silenced by her own tears. She couldn't form the words, could only cry. 

But Homura wasn't sad at all. She was so happy. Madoka finally knew they were soulmates.

* * *

Madoka and Homura spent the next few days preparing. Their numbers were down and they had to be at their best for the fight. They went after witches daily to make sure they'd have as much magic as possible. 

They'd just finished with a fight. It took place on a skyscraper, high above much of Mitakihara City. The bright lights twinkled beneath them. Madoka and Homura took the time to relax.

“It's coming soon,” Madoka said, “I'm a little scared, Homura-chan.”

“It'll be okay,” Homura said, “I'll protect you.”

Madoka smiled at her. Her happiness poured into the song. It sounded upbeat, with a lot of high notes. 

“And I'll protect you,” Madoka said, “I want to live a long, happy life with you.”

Homura's heart leapt at the thought. “I want that too. Kaname-san, I-” Homura didn't know why she couldn't get the words out. She knew she loved Madoka. But it seemed so strange. Madoka had only known her for a month and Homura had only known her three months, even though it was one month repeated. It seemed too early but Homura knew it was true. She’d do anything to protect Madoka. Because she loved her.

“Homura-chan?” Madoka asked, leaning in towards her. 

“It’s nothing,” Homura said. 

The song took a low tone, indicating Madoka's sadness.

“You can tell me when you're ready, okay?” Madoka said.

Homura's heart hammered in her chest. She didn't deserve someone as good and kind as Madoka. She was blessed to have someone as good as her as her soulmate.

“K-Kaname-san,” Homura said, “C-can I-”

Maybe it was the bond, or maybe Madoka could just read her well but she nodded. “Yes.”

Homura leaned in towards her. Madoka did as well. Homura wasn't really sure what she was doing but it didn't matter. Madoka met her halfway and their lips met.

The song exploded in Homura's head. She had never felt pleasure like this before. She was so happy. She'd been waiting for this for so long.

But girls pulled back and looked at each other.

“That was amazing,” Madoka said. She had such a beautiful smile. 

“It was,” Homura said. She didn't think could properly describe how much she enjoyed that. Or how much she loved Madoka. She could only hope their bond could convey her feelings.

“I don't want this to end,” Madoka said.

“It won't,” Homura said, “We'll defeat Walpurgisnacht and we'll live together forever.”

Madoka gave her a loving look. Homura felt her heart racing. She could be sustained alone on Madoka's love. 

“Yes. We will.”

* * *

The girls lay in the road, beaten and exhausted, their magic spent. A gentle rain fell on top of them, flooding the road they lay on. Their hands were crossed. The song was louder, and it felt good, even through the unhappy melodies. Homura could barely move she was in so much pain. They had been victorious, they’d defeated Walpurgisnacht, but they were both going to become witches. 

“I guess, this is the end for us too,” Madoka said softly. 

Homura nodded. “You don’t have any more grief seeds?”

Madoka looked to the sky and shook her head. 

“I see. Listen, how about the two of us become monsters and really mess up this whole awful world? Until there’s no more evil, no more sadness, nothing left at all. Let’s just break, break, break it all to dust. Don’t you think that would be great?” 

Homura couldn’t stop herself from crying. She’d failed again. She’d lived this month three times to try and get Madoka to survive. And she’d failed. Now they’d both become witches and she could only try to take comfort in that she could destroy the world that had ruined their happy ending. But it was no comfort. She didn’t want to die.

She felt her magic return before she’d noticed Madoka’s movements. She looked at her soulmate. The song had a sudden uptick of mischievousness before settling back into its dark, depressing patterns. 

“I lied earlier,” Madoka said with a smile, “I had just this one left.”

“No-,” Homura said, rolling over to be closer to her, “Why would you-? On me?”

“Because you’re my soulmate,” Madoka said, “I will always want to save you. And I want to ask you to do something only you can do. Homura-chan, you can go back in time, right? You can change history, so it won’t end like this, right?” Madoka’s voice broke on her last question. Tears started to roll down her cheeks.

“Yes,” Homura replied.

“Then would you go back and save stupid me before I get tricked by Kyuubey?”

“I swear it,” Homura replied immediately, “I swear I will protect you.” She would do anything for Madoka. She’d save her as many times as it took.

The song took a happier turn, a single note spike in a song of dread and misery. 

“Thank you,” Madoka said. Her soul gem flared and she rolled onto her back, writhing in pain. She was about to turn into a witch.

“Can I ask you one more thing?” she asked.

Homura nodded. She knew what Madoka was about to ask.

“I don’t want to become a witch. There are awful, sad things in the world but there are lots of things worth protecting too.”

“Madoka.”

Madoka smiled. “Homura-chan. You finally called me by my first name. I’m happy.” 

Madoka lifted her head up and Homura knew what to do. She cradled her soulmate in her arms, the song picking up again. 

“Homura-chan.”

Homura leaned down and Madoka met her in the middle. She only had the strength for that one moment. The song crescendoed in love as the girls kissed. Then Madoka fell back down. But she smiled at Homura. “Thank you.” She lifted her hand towards Homura. She gently set her back down on the ground. 

Homura sobbed and transformed herself. She took out a pistol and aimed it at the soul gem. She had to remember this. She would become stronger for it. She couldn’t let this happen again. 

Homura screamed. The gun fired.

She turned back time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed it. See you on Monday. :)


	4. Chapter 4

_ I'll stop the whole world, _

_ I'll stop the whole world, _

_ From turning into a monster, _

_ And eating us alive. _

_ Monster, Paramore _

 

* * *

Homura was awake in bed, wide eyed. She threw off the blankets and stood up. 

No one would believe her about the future. No one would accept the truth about the future. She had to change her plans, if she wanted Madoka to survive. 

She used her soul gem to fix her eyes. For the first time that she should remember, she had perfect vision without her glasses. She should have thought to do this earlier. 

She took out her ribbons and let her hair loose. She looked older, more mature. Maybe that was what Madoka meant by living up to her name. 

She couldn’t rely on anyone anymore. When she did, they just died. And Madoka died too. So she had to fight alone. She had to be strong enough by herself.

Homura didn’t need anyone to understand her. They couldn’t understand. Most people didn’t have soulmates. Even fewer were magical girls with this level of power. No one could understand her struggles. But that didn’t matter. She had to grow stronger to save the girl she loved. 

Homura couldn’t let Madoka fight. Even if that meant she defeated every witch in Mitakihara City by herself, she could do it. She’d fought them before. 

And she would defeat Walpurgisnacht herself. She would single handedly make sure that Madoka survived. 

* * *

The first day of school, Madoka and Homura were reacquainted. Homura didn't care too much for the dialogue. At this point, she'd heard it four times. But something about Madoka's shy demeanor did set her heart pounding. Even in her fourth timeline, Homura was still in love with her.

Madoka felt a bit uncomfortable with her so Homura tried to smile more. But it didn't matter too much. Homura would do the real work with her later. Once Walpurgisnacht was defeated, she could focus on being Madoka's soulmate again. 

But first, she'd have to become stronger. And she had a plan.

* * *

Homura had now stolen more weapons than she could count. Some were even military grade. It certainly made fighting witches easier. Who or whatever decided that her weapon would be a little shield was stupid. She'd never be able to fight with that alone.

But it didn't matter, as with her new weapons, the witches died easily. She didn't even need the other magical girls. Mami, Sayaka, and Kyoko were in her periphery but didn't intrude much. Sayaka became a witch again and Homura took her down. The fight had killed Kyoko and Mami died from another witch herself. But it didn't matter to Homura. Madoka wasn't a magical girl this time so she'd be safe. That was what mattered.

She tried not to think about how the witches were once magical girls. But those girls had fallen into despair. And she wouldn't. She'd stay strong. She'd succeed for Madoka.

* * *

Walpurgisnacht wasn't an easy foe. She'd been defeated a few times now but that was always with multiple people fighting her. Homura wasn't scared to fight her alone but it was difficult. She could barely keep up with the barrage of attacks.

In a moment of respite, she noticed the song growing louder in her head. Madoka was close. Homura saw her with a small white dot.

“Don't listen to anything he says!” She screamed but there was no way Madoka heard her. 

Walpurgisnacht attacked her again and Homura fell, watching a bright pink light above her. She'd failed again.

* * *

The storm had calmed. The wind blew hard and Homura’s hair was in her face. But she didn’t want to look. 

The world was in ruins around her. Buildings had been toppled. Rainwater pooled in the streets. She was standing on a large piece of rubble, with Kyuubey behind her. The song was screaming in agony.

And so was Madoka.

“She really was amazing when she transformed, wasn’t she?” Kyuubey asked, “That Madoka.”

Homura didn’t reply. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. She allowed all of Madoka’s anguish to fill her. Let her remember what she’d done here, how she’d failed the girl she loved the most. 

“I estimated that she would be the most powerful magical girl but to think that she would take down Walpurgisnacht with a single shot.”

Homura didn’t look at him as she spoke, “And did you know what would happen to her as a result?”

“Be it sooner or later, there is only one end for you magical girls. As the strongest magical girl, she took down her greatest enemy. Naturally, after that, all that was left for her was to turn into the wickedest of all witches. As she is now, I imagine it will only take ten days for Madoka to destroy this planet.”

It was such a cruel irony, that as soon as she became a magical girl, she’d also become a witch. She never wanted this. She would have rather died than become a witch. And yet, she was a witch stronger than Walpurgisnacht now. She’d destroy the world she loved so much. It seemed too cruel.

“Oh, well. What happens next is mankind’s problem, not ours. We’ve got all the energy we need now.” 

Homura stood up and removed the hair from her face. She didn’t look at Kyuubey but instead, at Madoka. The song grew even louder and it was undercut with the sound of a girl screaming. Not the drumbeat it used to be. Madoka was in so much pain. Homura had to free her.

“Aren’t you going to fight her?” Kyuubey asked.

“No,” Homura replied, “My battlefield lies elsewhere.”

“Akemi Homura, you’re-”

Homura walked back through time. 

* * *

Homura woke up wanting her nightmare to end. The song beat strongly in her head. 

She threw off the covers and took her hair out of her braids. She'd failed for the fourth time but she wouldn't again. 

This time, she'd keep Madoka close. She'd make sure there was never a time where Kyuubey could reach her. It'd be dangerous to bring her to the Walpurgisnacht fight but she'd find a way to protect the both of them. She had to make sure Madoka survived.

* * *

The song was abruptly cut off in Homura's head.

Her whole body felt ice cold. She looked back to where she'd left Madoka but didn't see her there. She saw only debris.

“Madoka!” She called but there was no reply. She couldn't have failed again. She'd done everything right. She'd brought Madoka through all those witch fights without her being hurt. Homura couldn't have failed now.

Her heart was pounding and her head was empty. She just had to get to Madoka. 

She jumped her way to the platform and froze time, to see what was happening.

Madoka was on the ground, a bloody mess with one of Walpurgisnacht’s familiars over her. She'd been killed by one of the damned familiars. 

Homura couldn't control her anger. She brought out one of her guns and shot the familiar until the clip was empty. She pulled the trigger a few extra times, too distraught to realize she wasn't firing anymore. 

There was no point in staying. She reset the clock again. Maybe next time it would work.

* * *

Homura stole more weapons. Maybe she just didn't have enough firepower. Maybe she could hit Walpurgisnacht harder and kill it faster. 

She spent the entire month raiding military bases across the entirety of the country. She saw some newspapers about the incidents but didn't let it stop her. No one could catch her anyway.

She killed witches as she went, running into conflict with a few magical girls but nothing too serious. Nothing that wasn't solved by promising to move on. And she did. She couldn't stay anywhere too long as she needed more. 

Madoka remained a quiet, steady beat inside her head. She had run away to do this so they'd never met in this timeline. But that was okay. Once Walpurgisnacht was defeated, Homura would go back home. She'd go to school and meet Madoka and she'd fall in love with her all over again. They'd be happy together, once this was done. 

* * *

Homura returned to Mitakihara City just before the storm. Mami was alive this time, and willing to work with Homura to take down Walpurgisnacht. Homura was fine with the help, even though she knew what was going to happen.

And it did. Mami died very quickly into the battle but Homura didn't let that stop her. She had the firepower to kill Walpurgisnacht. She could do it. 

The fight seemed endless. Walpurgisnacht laughed as she turned in the sky, sending a barrage of attacks against Homura. Her little shield was good for one thing, and it blocked the attacks well. She had bombs and guns and grenades and used them all.

But in the end, it wasn't enough. Homura kept fighting. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed something pink. As it drew closer, the song in her head grew louder. 

She'd failed. Again.

The pink object turned into Madoka, standing by her side.

“Hi,” she said, “I'm Kaname Madoka. I'm gonna try to help. If I can.”

She had so much power in her, she would do more than help. She'd destroy everything good about herself to save the city. And Madoka would, because she was such a kind person. 

By Homura couldn't stand to watch. She went back in time before Madoka could take the final shot.

* * *

Somewhere around the eighth timeline, Homura started to forget how many times she'd done this. Was it seven or eight? Or even nine? How many times did she reset the timeline?

Homura had to stop what she was doing to count. There was the original timeline, where Homura wasn't a magical girl. Then Madoka became a witch. Then Homura killed her. Then she became a witch again. Then she was killed by a familiar. Then Homura left before she could become a witch. Then she just died during the fight. Then a witch again. Then a building crushed her. Or was that before she became a witch the third time? No, it happened after. So this was the ninth timeline with eight resets.

But Homura had to find a way to remember. And she knew how to. 

It was as simple as buying a book. Something that would easily fit in the pocket dimension created by her shield. Something she could carry with her at all times. 

She sat down in her room and wrote it all out. A new page was a new failure. She detailed everything, becoming a magical girl, the adventures she went on with Madoka, any strategy she tried to use, and ultimately, how Madoka died. 

With only eight completed timelines, it didn’t take her too long. But it hurt. She wrote, in detail just how she’d failed her soulmate. She loved Madoka so much. There was no reason why she should have to do this. Madoka had just as much right to live as anyone else. Homura wished she didn’t have to loop through a single month of her life in a desperate attempt to keep her soulmate. 

But she did. And she would continue to do so. Because she loved Madoka too much.

* * *

During the twenty-eighth timeline, it occurred to Homura that she may never win. She had tried and failed to keep Madoka alive this many times. Who said this time would work? Or the next? What was she doing, killing all these witches? 

But then she saw Madoka smile again and she remembered. Her smile lit up a room, and was all Homura could see. It was over a dumb joke Sayaka had said, but Madoka smiled anyway. She was so beautiful.

They were acquaintances this time. Homura didn't know if she could bear the pain of Madoka knowing they were soulmates, only for her to die again. There would be the rest of their lives if Homura succeeded.

And that was all Homura needed to keep going. She would be strong enough. Madoka was hers and she would make sure she survived.

* * *

In the fifty-third timeline, Madoka went on a date with a boy in her class. Homura didn't even know his name, despite how many times she'd done this before. He’d never presented himself as a problem before. But Madoka accepted his invitation to go to mall without any hesitation and Homura burned with jealousy. Madoka was  _ happy _ to go out with him. She didn’t have a crush on him. He hadn’t said anything to her before. Why was he here?

Homura ended up following them. It was hard not to; the song was like a beacon of happiness. Did Madoka actually like this guy? 

They walked around the stores and ended up at a food court. Homura’s soul gem was telling her there was a witch nearby but she ignored it. She could easily protect Madoka if it came down to it.

The boy went to the bathroom and Homura stayed close. She didn't go in but her soul gem said the witch was right there. He was practically in its lair.

And Homura did nothing. She watched him reemerge with an easily recognizable mark and did nothing. She let him go back to Madoka and did nothing. And after their date, when he walked out into traffic, Homura tapped Madoka on the shoulder. 

She turned around and smiled at her, “Homura-chan.”

There was the sound of screeching brakes and a thud. Madoka turned back around to see her date dead on the pavement. So Homura turned her around and embraced her.

“Don't look,” she said as she looked.

Blood was splattered everywhere. The boy’s head had cracked open. There was no way he was still alive.

“Homura-chan, please. I need to-” But Madoka wasn't struggling. On some level, she still trusted Homura, even if they weren't that close this time around.

“Don't look,” Homura repeated, “You don't need to see that. I'm sorry.” But she wasn't sorry at all. She had Madoka in her arms, the song strong in her head. She had almost forgotten what it felt like to hold Madoka. She'd missed it desperately. 

And even with the blood pooling in the street right next to them, all seemed right with the world. Madoka was with her again. Homura would have to kill the witch later but she allowed herself to indulge in the moment. 

Madoka was hers after all. She'd be sad for a while but then she'd be all hers.

* * *

In the eighty-second timeline, Madoka heard the song again.

For the most part, Homura didn't care if she did or didn't. She loved spending time with her but ultimately, her fate was the same every time. So Homura stopped making it her priority to have Madoka hear the song. She mostly focused on killing Walpurgisnacht. 

She barely even needed to fight the regular witches anymore. She had more grief seeds from all her timelines than she would ever need. So she only really fought the witches that posed a direct danger to Madoka.

And in the eighty-second timeline, Madoka had a witch’s kiss mark. She was kissed somewhere in town and slowly shambled her way to the tallest building she could find.

It truly was luck that Homura found her. She was about to raid another yakuza base when she spotted her and the mark on her hand. So Homura followed her. Her soul gem was going crazy and she had to find this witch. It was not going to kill Madoka. 

She was lucky in that Madoka seemed to be leading her straight to the witch. It was inside a tall building near to the center of town. So that could help. Maybe someone would stop Madoka while Homura dealt with the witch.

She opened the labyrinth and walked inside. Familiars giggled all around her, as if they knew who they had in their clutches.  Homura shot them all down. She didn't have time for that.

She found the witch after a little searching. It seemed to be waiting for her. But Homura didn't care. It just had to die.

She hadn't seen this one before but they were all weak to bombs. If she shot at it enough, it would die, and that's all there was to it. One grenade thrown in its face made the labyrinth disappear in a fiery blaze. 

Homura was standing on the roof of the building. She looked around and saw Madoka, standing on the ledge.

“Madoka!” Homura called and rushed towards her.

Madoka turned around suddenly, her face contorted in fear. And she started to fall.

Homura grabbed her hand and pulled her back onto the roof with ease. Madoka fell right into her arms. 

“Are you okay, Madoka?” Homura asked. 

But Madoka didn't reply. She'd fallen unconscious. 

Homura didn't want to hope. Madoka had been mesmerized and almost committed suicide. Of course she'd be scared enough to faint. It was a natural reaction. 

But still, Homura wanted her to know. She wanted them to be soulmates again. She wanted the song reciprocated. It had been so long. 

Madoka opened her eyes and looked at Homura. She seemed to be in pain. Homura held her breath.

“Homura-chan?” Madoka asked, “What am I doing here?” She winced.

“I don't know,” Homura lied, “I saw you come up here and I assumed the worst.”

“I'm sorry?” Madoka said, “What was that?”

Homura knew she had the song. It had come back!

“Madoka, are you okay? Do-do you hear it too?”

“Yes. I hear drums. Are we soulmates, Homura-chan?”

Homura pulled Madoka into a hug. “Yes. Yes, we are. I'm so happy you hear it.”

“You knew?” Madoka asked but Homura didn't answer. She couldn't believe her luck. Madoka heard the song again. It had been so long.

Homura felt Madoka return the hug. “It's okay, Homura-chan. We have each other now. It'll be okay.”

And Homura hoped she was right.

* * *

It was no surprise that she was wrong. Madoka turned into a witch again this time, tricked by Kyuubey to enter the battle alongside her soulmate. 

So Homura went back. She didn't care how many times it took. They would be together. Someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I appreciate all the kudos and comments so please continue to leave them. Thank you. And Merry Christmas. :)


	5. Chapter 5

_ You're so tired, trying to rewind, _

_ The mess you've made of your own mind, _

_ But the pieces won't pick up themselves you know. _

_ Pieces, Icon For Hire _

 

* * *

The one hundred and sixth timeline started exactly like every other. Homura woke up in her hospital bed. The calendar was marked with the day she started school again. She had seen this sight many times before. 

So she ignored it, as she got ready for the day. She had to go to school but outside of that, she could make her plans for beating Walpurgisnacht. She had some new ideas, that mostly featured bombing the city. But if she didn't do it, Walpurgisnacht would win anyway. She couldn't do it alone.

When she got to school, it was the same thing she'd heard so many times. The teacher complained about her boyfriend. Madoka complimented her name and called her “Homura-chan”. She was supposed to lead Homura to the nurse's office but at this point, Homura was sure she knew the way even better than her. 

Not to say that Homura was sick of seeing Madoka. On the contrary, the song portrayed her awkward small talk but genuine interest in Homura. And that was nice but it was all so familiar. Things wouldn't start to change in this timeline until later. 

So it was all very boring and she was glad when the day ended. Madoka and Sayaka headed off to the mall. Homura would have gone witch hunting had she not spotted a little white alien following the two girls. So she had to pursue. 

Kyuubey crawled through the basement of the mall and Homura was quick to follow. There was no way he wasn't going for Madoka. She had all that magical girl potential that he craved. 

Kyuubey hesitated for a moment and Homura killed him with a well-placed bullet. His body exploded from the force. Homura knew there were many versions of him so he wasn't truly dead. And sure enough, she saw a white figure move behind her. Kyuubey scampered away and Homura raced after him, trying to kill this form too. She managed a few hits but didn't kill him. And he fell right into Madoka’s arms.

How she managed to get down here, or even why she would, Homura didn't know. But she cradled the injured Kyuubey like a baby. She was so kind hearted and the song expressed her worry for the little alien. 

She looked up and spotted Homura. She was scared of her.

“Get away from that thing,” Homura said. It was happening all over again. Madoka would befriend Kyuubey and turn into a magical girl. She had to stop it, even if Madoka felt such fear. She had to do what was best for her. 

“B-b-but he’s hurt,” she replied. Her good heart kept killing her. Homura knew just how wonderful she was. But she couldn’t let this go. “No. Please don’t do something cruel.”

“This has nothing to do with you.”

“But he was calling me. I could hear him begging me to save him!” Of course he was. Manipulative little bastard. Of course he’d take advantage of her good heart. Especially when she had more potential than any other girl on the planet.

“I see.” They looked at each other, both knowing the other wouldn’t give in. And that scared Madoka.

Homura was hit with the mist from a fire extinguisher. Madoka got up and ran. She was relieved to see Sayaka. Homura couldn’t see enough to stop her.

Everything was working against her. 

And then the walls showed odd pictures and reality stopped making sense. The labyrinth enveloped her. She would have to fight this first. Then she could deal with Kyuubey.

* * *

Mami was an idiot. Granted, Homura had tried that tactic too, taking Madoka into battles she couldn't fight. But Homura also knew how it ended. Sooner or later, either Mami would fail to protect Madoka and she would be killed, or Mami herself would die. Neither was an option Homura could allow so she followed them into the battle. 

Mami and Madoka were walking alone through the corridors of the labyrinth, talking about Sayaka finding the witch. But they heard her enter and turned around. Mami wasn’t happy to see her. Madoka was apprehensive but not hostile. It didn’t really matter since Homura could just fix this after she beat Walpurgisnacht.

“I shall hunt this prey,” Homura said, “The two of you should leave here.” She hoped Madoka left. It wasn’t safe for her.

“I don’t think so,” Mami said, “Miki-san and Kyuubey are waiting for us.”

“I will guarantee their safety.”

“And you think we could trust you?” Mami asked calmly. She used her power to tie up Homura with her ribbons. Madoka said nothing. She was scared of her.

“Idiot,” Homura said, “This isn’t the time for-”

“I don’t want to hurt you, of course,” Mami said, maybe to appease Madoka more than Homura.

“This witch isn’t like the others,” Homura said. Mami didn’t last long anymore. This could be it and then what would happen to Madoka?

“Behave and when I finish up here, I’ll release you unharmed,” Mami said, “Let’s go, Kaname-san.”

“O-okay,” Madoka said, giving one last look to Homura before looking at Mami. 

“Wait,” Homura said but the ribbons tightened and she gasped in pain.

They walked away, leaving Homura trapped. She couldn't move her arms at all. Mami had trapped her like this before but she'd never been able to escape it. 

Homura cursed her own stupidity. Mami was probably going to get Madoka killed with this. She had to escape and stop it.

She didn't know how long she struggled. The ribbons dug into her skin and it was getting hard to breathe. But then they released her. The ribbons seemed to die in her hand. And that only meant one thing.

Homura ran towards the witch. Mami was dead now and Madoka needed to be protected. 

She reached the final chamber, to see the witch looking hungrily at Madoka and Sayaka. At least they were both alive. But Homura could feel all of Madoka's terror and anguish. She was grieving for Mami and scared of the witch.

Homura was almost glad, even as the sadness made her want to cry. The song was loud with Madoka's despair. But let her remember this. Being a magical girl was a horrible fate. Let Madoka remember how it ended for Mami and never want to be one!

“Both of you, make a contract with me,” Kyuubey said, “Madoka! Sayaka!” But the girls were too scared to speak. Homura was shaking because of Madoka’s fear. But she could do this. She’d done it many times before.

“That won’t be necessary.” She entered the battlefield, ready to challenge the witch. “I shall be the one to slay it.”

The witch tried to eat the pedestal she was on but all she had to do was freeze time and move to a new one. So it tried to eat that one and she repeated the same trick. It really wasn’t the smartest witch out there.

She did it a few more times, reveling in the game. She’d managed to get control of herself. Madoka wasn’t as scared anymore now that she was there. And she could separate her fear from Madoka’s. And she wasn’t scared at all. Not when she’d done this for years!

On the last pedestal, she planted multiple bombs. This witch would shed its skin as it died so she needed to kill all the forms.  As expected, it ate them up. So Homura triggered the explosions.

The witch exploded repeatedly until it was destroyed in a fiery blaze. She leapt off the pedestal and walked towards the girls. They were both scared of her. It seemed to be all Madoka could feel around her.

“A moment later, and you would have been dead,” Homura said, “Burn this sight into your minds. This is what it means to be a magical girl.”

* * *

Homura found Kyoko at an arcade. The place was empty; it was just the two of them. Kyoko was playing a dancing game with food in her mouth. It wasn’t unusual for her, as Homura had found over the timelines.

“Yo. So what do you want now?” she asked without looking behind her. 

“I want you to be in charge of this city. Girls like you are meant to be magical girls. Miki Sayaka is not qualified.” Especially when Sayaka would turn into a witch before long. She never lasted until the end of the month. 

“She’s gonna keep bugging me,” Kyoko replied.

“I will handle her,” Homura said. She could easily get through to Sayaka through Madoka. Even if they weren’t close in this timeline, she could always get Madoka to like her.

“You still haven’t told me the most important thing though.” Kyoko turned around. “Who the heck are you? What do you get out of this?”

“In two weeks from now, Walpurgisnacht will descend on the city.”

“How do you know that?” Kyoko asked.

“That is a secret,” Homura replied, “But if we manage to defeat it, I will leave and you can rule this city however you want.” She was lying but what did it matter. Maybe she would leave and take Madoka with her. It didn’t matter where Homura went, so long as Madoka was there with her.

“Walpurgisnacht, huh? I guess it would be difficult to defeat it by yourself.” Kyoko had no idea just how bad it was. “But if we double teamed it, we could probably win.” She finished her game with a flourish. She didn’t know how wrong she was.

* * *

“I'm sorry,” Madoka said and threw Sayaka’s soul gem off the bridge. 

Homura didn't really care about Sayaka but Madoka did. And she was going to regret throwing that away. 

Homura went after it. Her magic was running a bit low so she could only pause time and not freeze it. But she hurried to the truck that carried Sayaka's soul gem. If nothing else, if by some miracle she survived the month, Sayaka would be a great asset for the Walpurgisnacht fight. She just had to stay positive.

Which Madoka wasn't. Her sorrow was so great, it made Homura want to cry. The song was agonized, slow but loud, like weeping. Madoka had to know by now what she'd done. And it wasn't her fault; she didn't know. But now she did, and most likely Kyoko did too. It happened every time and they were always horrified. It  _ was _ horrifying but Homura was far beyond it at this point. No matter how many times she rewrote the past, her soul had been sold and she couldn’t change that. 

With the soul gem in hand, she returned to the bridge and gently placed it in Sayaka's hand. 

It broke her heart to see Madoka so unhappy. The sadness replayed itself in her ears and all she could do was listen. She couldn't comfort Madoka, not where their relationship was, but she could do this for her. This would make her feel better, if nothing else.

After a moment of being reunited with her body, Sayaka took a breath. Madoka’s weeping stopped as she watched Sayaka wake up. 

She sat up and looked at everyone staring at her. “What?” Sayaka asked, “What is it?”

* * *

It wasn't hard to track Sayaka down. Homura knew where most of the witches and familiars were. The familiar was gone but Sayaka was there. She looked tired and Homura couldn't blame her. She was fighting a lot of familiars. And she wasn’t taking any grief seeds so she wasn’t replenishing her magic. At this rate, she was going to kill herself.

Sayaka turned around when she heard Homura’s footsteps. But she didn’t say anything. She just watched her. Sayaka hated her in this timeline but she didn’t care.

“Why don’t you get it?” Homura asked calmly, “You’re near your breaking point. Fight only the witches.”

“Shut up,” Sayaka replied.

“Your soul gem is already at its limit. If you do not purify it now.” She paused and allowed Sayaka to think on that. She would become a witch. But Homura didn’t know if she knew her own fate yet. “Use this.” She threw a grief seed at her. It wasn’t like she didn’t have several. 

But Sayaka kicked the grief seed down the corridor. Homura didn’t expect her to take it.

“So what are you planning now?” Sayaka asked.

Homura started to walk away. “I’m done here. Does it bother that much to have someone help you?”

“I’m going to be a different kind of magical girl to you all,” Sayaka said, “I won’t associate myself with people who use and abandon others. I don’t need a reward for my work. I’ll never use magic for my own benefit.”

“You’ll die,” Homura said.

“If I were to die, it would be when I am no longer able to kill witches. So there would be no need for me anymore. That’s fine, then.” Sayaka collapsed to the ground. “The world doesn’t need me if I can’t beat the witches.”

Homura saw some of herself in Sayaka. There was the same hopelessness to them. Sayaka was deep in her own sorrow. But Homura could keep going. She had to. She had to save Madoka. She needed to be with her soulmate.

“Why are you doing this? I only want to save you. Why won’t you believe me?”

“I don’t know. I just know somehow that you’re a liar. You look like you’ve given up on everything. You’re always saying empty words. This is no different. You say you’re trying to help me out, but you’re really thinking about someone else completely, aren’t you? You can’t fool me like that.”

Homura was getting frustrated. Sayaka would never learn. Not in any timeline. “And in turn, you keep hurting Madoka more and more.”

“Madoka has nothing to do with this.”

“No. Everything is for her.” Sayaka stared at her in shock. “You’re pretty quick. Yes, you got it. I don’t want to save you. I just don’t want Madoka to have to see you destroy yourself.” Again. 

* * *

“Madoka, if you wish for it, you might even become an all-powerful god.”

“Would I be able to do what you couldn’t?” Madoka asked, her eyes looking at the stars above her.

“Like what?”

“If I made a contract with you, could I return Sayaka-chan to normal?”

“That would be child’s play for you. Is that wish worth trading away your very soul?”

“If it means I can help Sayaka-chan, I’ll do it. I’ll become a-”

Homura stopped time.

Madoka was a beautiful fool. So kind and so willing to hurt herself to better someone else, even when they didn’t deserve it. Sayaka made her choice. Madoka didn’t deserve the fate of a magical girl for someone else’s choice. 

Her head was so quiet in these moments. When time stopped, Madoka’s thoughts and feelings stopped and Homura felt cold. Empty. Worthless. Madoka gave her meaning and life. And she would so willingly trade her own life away. No matter how many times she did this, Madoka never learned her own worth. But Homura knew it all too well. 

Homura shot Kyuubey. She shot him until the gun was out of bullets. She knew he wouldn’t die. But Madoka would be safe, if only for a moment.

Time resumed and Kyuubey slumped over. 

Madoka gasped in shock. She was so scared, even if she didn’t show it. Homura hated that she felt so unhappy.

Homura dropped the gun and Madoka turned around. She was afraid of her. Was that all she could feel around her?

“How could you?! You didn’t have to kill him!” Madoka said.

“Why are you always sacrificing yourself?” Homura asked. She walked right up to Madoka, close enough to touch her. Homura desperately wanted to. She wanted Madoka to know her feelings for her. She wanted her to realize they were soulmates. She wanted this ever-looping nightmare to end. 

“Don’t demean yourself by saying that you can’t help anyone or that you’re useless. Think about all the people who care about you! Just cut it out!” Homura grabbed Madoka by the shoulders. The song, crying out in fear and depression, turned into a warm, happy feeling flooding through Homura. This was how she was supposed to be. They were supposed to be together. But she was never allowed this happiness. She could feel herself crying. She hated showing weakness. Madoka truly was her one weakness.

“Why don’t you understand that there are people who would grieve if you died?! Why don’t you consider the people who try so hard to protect you?!” Homura let go of her and collapsed onto the ground. She hoped Madoka understood her pain. She just wanted her to live.

“Homura-chan.” Madoka stood up. And froze. “Have we-” The song stopped for just a moment before continuing in confusion. Homura had never heard something like that before. Not once in all the timelines. “Have we met somewhere before?” 

“We-” Are soulmates. Homura couldn’t get the words out. Madoka couldn’t be told. She had to hear it herself. 

“I’m sorry,” Madoka said and grabbed her bag, “I need to look for Sayaka-chan.”

“Wait. It’s too late for Miki Sayaka.” Sayaka would always die. But Homura was right there. 

But the song grew slower in sadness. “I’m sorry,” Madoka said and ran away.

“Wait! Madoka!”

She didn’t turn around. 

* * *

By the time Homura made it into the labyrinth, the battle was mostly over. Madoka had been knocked unconscious and for the sake of the responsible party, it was a good thing Homura didn't see it. She caught Madoka as she fell and gently landed on the ground. The song turned pleasant, even if Madoka was unconscious. 

Kyoko was still alive, as well as Sayaka. Or what was left of her. But Kyoko had taken the brunt of the witch’s attacks and was severely injured. She was going to die. Her plan had fallen apart again.

Kyoko’s spear clattered behind her. Homura turned around to look at her. “Kyoko.”

“Hey. Take care of her for me, would you?” Kyoko said, “I was an idiot dragging her into this.” She turned around. “You said you wouldn’t fight when weighed down with a burden, right? That’s fine. And you’re right.” She threw up a barrier between them, so she was alone with the witch. “You gotta focus on the one thing that means the most to you, and protect it to the end.”

Homura looked down at her soulmate. She was so precious to her. Truly, Madoka was the only good thing in this waking nightmare Homura was living. She didn’t know how Kyoko understood the connection she felt to Madoka. She and Sayaka weren’t soulmates. But perhaps Kyoko had fallen in love.

“Go. I’ll take care of her.”

Homura ran. She knew Kyoko would kill herself to destroy the witch Sayaka had become. It wasn’t the first time this had happened.

Homura didn’t really care. But this would only hurt Madoka.

* * *

“Time traveler Akemi Homura.”

The little alien had found its way into Homura’s apartment. It looked so smug. 

“By turning back time and changing past events, you have traversed numerous different timelines and relived this past month over and over, seeking the outcome you desire. Your existence has answered at least one great mystery: why is Kaname Madoka’s potential as a magical girl so abnormally vast? Now at least, I have a theory that explains this.”

Kyuubey didn’t wait for her to ask. “You see, a magical girl’s potential is based on the weight of the karmic destiny she bears. I could’ve understood if she had been the queen or savior of a country. But Madoka was only living an ordinary life so I couldn’t understand why so many threads of fate should all be gathered so tightly around her. But now, I think-” he cut himself off, “Say, Homura, could it be that Madoka has been made into such a powerful magical girl because you kept turning back time?”

Homura couldn’t stifle the little gasp that came out of her. She couldn’t be responsible for Madoka’s magical girl potential. Nothing she did every made a difference. Why would that?

“I thought so. You were the cause of it.” 

“What do you mean?” She kept her voice cool despite the nervousness she felt creeping up. Had she doomed Madoka after all?

“All this time reversal you did was for one purpose, isn’t it? To save Kaname Madoka? By turning back time for the same purpose, you caused multiple timelines to converge together and centered them all around the existence of Kaname Madoka. If Madoka’s threads of fate from each of those separate timelines all ended up linking up to the Madoka in this current timeline it would explain why her magical potential is so impossibly huge.”

Homura gripped at her skirt. 

“Excellent work, Homura. You’ve made Madoka into the most powerful witch we’ve ever seen.”

It didn’t matter what she did. She always lost in the end.

* * *

There was a knock at the door. Homura didn’t need to look to see who it was. It was Madoka. The song was loud but so slow. She was deep in sorrow and pain and Homura knew she could do nothing for her. It broke her heart but all she could do was let Madoka grieve. She’d lost so much in so little time.

She opened the door and sure enough, Madoka was standing there, soaked to the bone. She looked so cold. “Can I come in?” she asked.

Homura didn’t answer but opened the door wider and allowed her inside. 

“Is this Walpurginacht?” Madoka asked, looking at the pictures, “Kyoko-chan told me about it. She said it was a witch so strong, one person couldn’t beat it alone so the two of you were teaming up. So you’ve been preparing for that all this time here?”

Homura’s eyes went to Madoka. She felt a spike of fear from her soulmate as she took a step back. But then she stepped forward again, “Will the city be in danger?”

“Unlike the witches you’ve seen, this one is powerful enough that it doesn’t need to hide in a labyrinth. If it manifests even once, thousands will die.”

“Then it absolutely has to be defeated, right? Now that Kyoko-chan’s dead too, you’re the only magical girl that can fight it. So maybe I-”

“I can do it on my own,” Homura interjected, “While Sakura Kyoko couldn’t defeat Walpurgisnacht on her own, I can. I actually never needed her help. I just agreed so she wouldn’t lose face.” 

“Honestly?”

Homura nodded. She hoped it made Madoka feel better. If she thought Homura could handle it, then she wouldn’t try to become a magical girl. She could be kept safe. 

“I don’t know why, but I really want to believe in you, Homura-chan.” Tears welled up in her eyes and the sadness she’d been feeling for days finally spilled out. It was cathartic in a way. Her poor soulmate had been so miserable. “I don’t want to think that you’d lie to me. And yet, I just can’t believe you’re really going to be alright. I just can’t believe what you’re saying is true.”

Madoka’s sadness threatened to swallow her up. Homura grit her teeth and clenched her fists to remain in control of her emotions. She couldn’t allow herself to be weak. Not when Madoka was.

“How can I tell you what I’m really feeling? After all, I’m-I’m not even living in the same time as you, Madoka!” The tears started to flow down her cheeks. She rushed over to Madoka and threw her arms around her, allowing the pleasure of the song to race through her body, instead of all the sadness and guilt she felt. Madoka was such a warm person and so easy to hug, even if she was damp with the rain. 

“You see, I come from the future. I’ve met you over and over, and each time, I’ve had to watch you die. What do I have to do to save you? What do I have to do to change your fate? Searching for that answer, I’ve kept redoing this month.” She couldn’t believe she was saying it all. But she couldn’t stop it as it all came out. “I’m sorry. I’m not making any sense, right? I must seem horribly creepy, right? After all, to you, I’m just some transfer student you’ve barely known for a month. But to me, you are-” She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t let her see the hell she’d lived. She’d done this one hundred and six times and watched her soulmate die every time. She had to keep going, to live the life she wanted with her soulmate so desperately. 

“The more times I redo all this, the further in time we drift from one another. Our feelings drift further apart and my words don’t even reach you anymore. The truth is, I think I’ve been lost for a very long time now.”

“Homura-chan.” Some of the sadness was gone. It was replaced with confusion, maybe even a little guilt. 

“I will save you. That was the feeling that I started all this with. And now, it is the only thing I have left to guide me. It’s okay if you don’t understand. It’s okay if my words don’t reach you.” Homura let Madoka out of the hug and put her hands on her shoulders. “But please, please, just let me protect you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed it. See you on Monday. :)


	6. Chapter 6

_ Everytime I close my eyes, _

_ It’s like a dark paradise. _

_ No one compares to you, but there’s no you, _

_ Except in my dreams tonight. _

_ Dark Paradise, Lana Del Rey _

 

* * *

The day had come. Homura always dreaded it. One hundred and six times, she'd gone through this fight. And she'd lost one hundred and six times. But this time, she had more firepower than ever before. This time, Walpurgisnacht would fall.

She walked into town as familiars walked all around her. Elephants cried out and familiars raced forward, ready to destroy Mitakihara City, like every other town in its path. Homura would stop it. This time, she'd stop it. Walpurgisnacht appeared from the clouds, hanging upside and laughing as it spun. 

Madoka was safe in a shelter. Homura had checked before leaving and even now, she hadn't moved. She was worried but she was safe. Homura worried that she'd leave and try to aid in the fight by becoming a magical girl again. It had happened before. So Homura had to move quickly.

“This time, I’ll put an end to you.”

She's stolen so many guns. She’d laid bombs throughout the city. She had more explosives, more grief seeds, and more preparation. She would do it right this time. 

And for a moment, after her barrage of attacks, while the smoke still hung in the sky, Homura thought she might have done it. But then Walpurgisnacht attacked her and sprouted more familiars. Homura crashed onto the road and saw it rising from the flames. She had to stop it before it attacked the shelter where Madoka was. It was getting closer and closer to her.

But she didn’t notice the building until it was too late. It slammed into Homura, crashing her through another skyscraper and she landed back on the street with all the debris. She was in so much pain but she tried to get up, only to realize her leg had been pinned by a rock. 

“Why? Why?! No matter how many times I try, why can’t I win?” She had to go back in time. She got her shield ready, only to freeze. If she went back again, she’d only make Madoka’s destiny worse. She would tangle her in more karmic fate. So she lay back, and allowed herself to cry. She’d done this so many times and it didn’t matter in the end. She’d turn into a witch too, and Madoka would die.

She heard Madoka coming but it didn’t truly matter. She was going to die again, this time, permanently. 

But then Homura felt the happiness grow in her as Madoka took her hand. “That’s enough,” she said calmly. There was no anger in her. Some sadness and relief but no anger. “You’ve done enough, Homura-chan.”

“Madoka.”

Madoka took out a handkerchief and wiped the blood from Homura’s face. Then she stood up and looked at Walpurgisnacht.  Kyuubey walked up behind her. 

“Madoka, you didn’t.”

She turned around and smiled at her. “Homura-chan. I’m sorry. I’m going to become a magical girl.”

“Madoka. No.”

“I finally figured it out. I found a wish I truly want granted. So I’m going to use my life for it, okay?”

“Don’t! Because then-because then what have I been fighting for?” Homura started to cry again. This was the last timeline. This would be the end. Whatever Madoka did, Homura couldn’t undo. 

Madoka walked back over to her and hugged her, the song growing louder again. But it was no comfort. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But I believe it’s because you protected me for so long that I am the person I am now. I really am sorry. Won’t you believe in the answer that the one you’ve loved all this time has found? I swear that I won’t waste everything you’ve done for me, Homura-chan.”

Madoka pulled away and Homura gasped at the loss of the song. It went back to a quieter beat, but fast. Madoka was determined and set on what she was going to do. 

“Since you’re now the central point of karmic destiny from numerous different timelines, no matter how enormous the wish, you will likely be able to make it come true,” Kyuubey said, “Now, Kaname Madoka, what is the wish you will pay for with your soul?”

“I wish-” She stepped towards Kyuubey and took a deep breath. Homura had never seen her so confident. “I wish to erase all witches before they are born. All witches in all universes, both past and future with my own hands!”  Madoka’s chest started to glow.

Kyuubey spoke, “That prayer. If a prayer like that were granted, it could unravel the fabric of time itself! It would go against the force of karmic destiny! Do you truly intend to become a god?!”

“I don’t care what I become,” Madoka said, “All those who have fought against witches, who believed in hope as magical girls, I don’t want to see them cry. I want them to be smiling to the very end. If any law stands in the way of that, I will destroy it. I will rewrite it. That is my prayer. That is my wish. Now, grant my wish, Incubator!”

The magic poured from Madoka, bathing the world in a pink light. And at the center of that light, Madoka had returned to her magical girl form. The song hurt Homura’s head as Madoka gained her power. She fired her bow into the sky and it cleared as pink arrows flew all over the world. Walpurgisnacht broke into pieces as it came into contact with Madoka’s light. She’d actually done it. She’d saved all magical girls by destroying witches. 

A bright light emanated from Madoka. The force of it whipped at Homura’s hair as she too was engulfed.

* * *

When Homura woke up, her head was dead silent. She sat up in a panic, unsure of what had happened. But then she heard the song thundering in her ears once again. Except this time, it was outside her head. 

She looked around unsure of where she was. The world was nothing but black and white. All the rubble of the city was gone. There was no sky, no ground, nothing at all. Just her.

“Where am I?”

“The universe is in the process of reordering itself based on Madoka’s new law.” Kyuubey’s voice seemed to echo. But she didn’t see him. 

The sky became stars with a background of many colors, like a galaxy. It looked like she might be in space. But she could breathe just fine. 

Ultimately, she didn’t care where she was. She just wanted to know what happened to Madoka. The song was so monotonous that she could get nothing from it. No emotions, no distance, nothing. All it did was acknowledge that Madoka still existed. Somewhere.

A giant comet, made of rainbow colors and darkness streaked across the sky. It was enormous.

“That is the soul gem her prayer created,” Kyuubey explained, “Can you see all the cursed destinies she took onto herself? There is enough hope to create a new universe and enough despair to destroy one.”

The comet turned into what Homura could only assume was a witch. It encircled the Earth with black claws. And she was helpless to stop it. She couldn’t believe that Madoka’s wish would have failed. 

“No. It’s alright,” Madoka said. She appeared before her silhouetted against the universe. Her hair grew longer and she appeared in a white dress. Homura could only describe her as a goddess. And with her power, she destroyed the witch. The force seemed to destroy everything.

Homura was thrown into another world, one that seemed red and pink. 

Kyuubey spoke out of nowhere. “Madoka, with this, your life has ceased to have a beginning or an end. No trace of your life on earth nor a single memory of you will remain anywhere. Your existence has shifted onto a higher plane, and all that will be left of you here is a concept. No one will ever be aware of your presence and you will never be able to interact with anyone. You have ceased to exist in this universe.”

The song didn’t change. Homura thought she’d have some reaction to being told she didn’t exist anymore but there was nothing. The song still existed but for how much longer would she have Madoka? “What are you saying? That Madoka wished for such an ending? You think this is a fair reward for everything she’s done? Don’t be ridiculous!” She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. Madoka was gone. Her soulmate was gone. She gave everything for a world she would never be in again. “That is worse than death would be.”

She felt a hand on her shoulder and the song changed. Happiness flowed into her as it grew louder. “No, you’re wrong, Homura-chan.” She turned around to look at her. “As I am now, I can see everything that ever was or will happen. I know what you’ve done for me, Homura-chan. I can see all the lives you lived and all the horrible endings you saw. I can hear you now.” She smiled. “I’m so lucky to have you for a soulmate. You sold your soul to keep me safe. Thank you. It’s because of you, I was able to help everyone. I’m sorry I didn’t know until now. I’m so sorry.”

Homura couldn’t say anything but cried in Madoka’s arms. For once, it was right. They were together and Madoka knew everything. But it wouldn’t last and she knew it. She wanted to stay with her. Even if it meant her life on earth ended, she didn’t care. 

“But even after everything, you kept going, for me. Thank you. I didn’t know what a wonderful soulmate I had until now.”

“But as you are now, you don’t have a home to go to. You’ll be separated from everyone you love, to live trapped all alone in a place like this forever?!”

Madoka smiled. “But I won’t be alone. I’ll have all of you with me. Because I will be everywhere at every moment from now on. I will always be by your side, Homura-chan.”

“I don’t want to forget you. I love you,” Homura sobbed. 

Madoka pulled at the ribbons that held her hair in place. Her hair fell apart and she put the ribbons in Homura’s hands. “It’ll be alright. It’ll all be alright.” She leaned in and kissed Homura. 

Despite the tears and the ache that was growing in her chest, Homura indulged herself in this one last kiss. She’d had so few with Madoka and even now, it would end soon. But she had her. For this one moment, she had her and this was what was meant to be. Homura would do anything to make it last.

But it didn’t. Madoka pulled back and started to float away.

“Madoka! Don’t go!”

“I’m sorry. I’ve got to go meet all the others. I’ll see you again one day, Homura-chan.”

“Madoka!!”

* * *

The doctors thought she was hard of hearing, at first. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with her ears and hearing aids did nothing for her. It wasn’t until she could talk did she disclose the truth, that she heard drums in her head. The doctors could do nothing for that. They thought her a freak, to have a soulmate since birth. That in conjunction with her heart condition made many feel sorry for her parents. But not for her, it seemed.

Homura had these memories in her head but she didn’t live them. She lived in a different universe, one with witches made of the despair of magical girls. But that wasn’t this universe.

In this one, the magical girls fought the wraiths, the manifestation of grief, until they were taken by the Law of the Cycle. Madoka rewrote the universe without witches, not grief, thus the struggle of magical girls continued. And Homura remained one.

She fought, she went to school, and she lived a life she wasn’t truly part of. Only she remembered what the last universe was like. Only she remembered Madoka. And that meant she had a one-sided soulmate bond with a concept. 

The song beat in her head still, acknowledging Madoka’s existence. But it was steady and constant, proving she wasn’t alive. It was maddening and loud and was just a painful reminder of what Homura had lost. That and the ribbons she wore as a headband. 

Still, she had a life to lead. Madoka insisted that she do so. Even if all Homura wanted was to have Madoka back again, she had to follow her wishes. If she had lived for so long, trapped in the endless cycle of Madoka’s death, she could endure this a little longer. Magical girls didn’t live long after all. Eventually, she would be taken by the Law of the Cycle too. 

And Homura and Madoka would be together again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end. I might do Rebellion. Would anyone be interested in that?  
> Thank you for reading. Please leave your final kudos or comments if you enjoyed it. Happy New Year! :)


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